LAUGH LINES

Of the Same Mind: “Rumor has it that Regis Philbin had [an affair] with another woman. How ironic would that be? One day, he’s consoling Kathie Lee Gifford about Frank Gifford. The next day, he is Frank Gifford.” (Andrew Wisot)

On the Move: “The good news is the Democratic wheel is finally in motion. The bad news: It’s a Firestone.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

A Star Is Born: “Everybody is getting on the Sen. Joe Lieberman bandwagon. CBS announced a new show that it’s developing for the fall season: ‘Everybody Loves Lieberman.’ ” (David Letterman)

Here’s the Buzz: An article on human behavior said “most men would eat food a fly had touched. Like if you’ve got a hamburger, and the fly lands on it and takes off, guys would still eat it. But generally, most women would not. . . . I won’t eat any food a fly won’t touch. You see the kinds of things flies land on? If a fly won’t even land on what you’re eating, that’s bad!” (Leno)

Cleanup: The White House is “going to put porn blockers on the Internet. Staff members . . . have been downloading porn off the Internet. Most of it, they say, is being viewed after hours by the cleaning staff. And in their defense, the cleaning staff said it was just trying to identify the stains on the carpet.” (Bill Maher)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.