Antidote to Ad Blitz: Spending Time
Psychologist based in South Pasadena; specializes in children’s mental health; teaches at the California School of Professional Psychology, Alhambra
The effects of advertising are always profound on children--and all of us--from having this color and sort of Pokemon to the perfect body. But during the holidays, the volume of those effects gets amped up.
It seems that with the materialistic culture we live in, parents equate the holidays with what they can give and children equate it with what they can get. So it becomes a kind of materialistic fun fest of who gives the most hot new toys and who gets the most.
But it’s not just the advertisers and the media that promote this way of thinking. There’s also the kids’ peer culture, in which children compare things and status. How good or cool or fun they are is impacted by whether they are wearing the right sneakers or have PlayStation 2.
Advertising feeds and capitalizes on that and on the parents’ wanting to give to their children. Many parents have time constraints and may be working two jobs, so they cannot spend a lot of time with their kids. So they want to give them the new toys or the ski trip.
We cannot underestimate the impact of the Internet, either. Many of the children in my practice see the pop-up banners and go to the Web sites where the toys are advertised. And even if they are commercials not geared to a specific toy that the children want, they are constantly being given the message that this time of the year is about getting presents.
Children are particularly vulnerable to advertising campaigns because they generally do not have a well-defined sense of self. I have children who come in with the idea, “If dad really loved me, he’d get me a snowboard.”
Parents can combat the effects of the advertisements they are bombarded with by teaching their children to develop a sense of self-worth. Parents can tell their children that they are wonderful just because they are, just because they are there. Parents can also teach their kids to do things like wrap presents for those who don’t have what they do or bake cookies for a church bake sale, so that the holidays take on a more religious or community meaning.
Parents might also have the time to read their kids a story at the library or show them how they can volunteer at a food bank or a homeless shelter--things that give a larger sense of community (and that also enhance) their kids’ self-esteem, so it isn’t based on whether they have Air Jordans.
Parents should always limit the amount of television that their children watch and instead have them play cards or sit down for a family game night.
There have even been studies that show that children’s IQ scores go up if parents sit down and talk and just spend time with them during the week, and have them think about the world and help them understand it.