LAUGH LINES

Primary Education: “George W. Bush described opponent John McCain’s New Hampshire victory as ‘a bump in the road,’ but his college partying pals would call it ‘a pothole.’ ” (Stan Kaplan)

Primary Education II: “Al Gore spent the night before the New Hampshire primary asking for votes on the telephone. It didn’t go so well. Half the people he called hung up when they heard his voice because they thought it was the dial tone.” (Argus Hamilton)

The Secondary League: “Steve Forbes, Gary Bauer and Alan Keyes are calling [the primary] the New Hampshire farewell tour. . . . This is the biggest setback for George Bush since he took his SATs. . . . Not a good day for Steve Forbes. Worst setback for him since that big Chardonnay shortage in ’93.” (Jay Leno)

On His Rocker: Atlanta Braves pitcher John Rocker was suspended until May 1 for making insensitive remarks. “Today, Darryl Strawberry called him and said, ‘Why don’t you say you’re on crack? You would have been out for a week and a half.’ ” (Leno)

Rocker Scientist: “John Rocker’s in the news again. Looks like he’s been suspended. That’s the bad news. The good news is that Pat Buchanan’s asked him to be his running mate.” (Sean Paraventi)

Focus on the Present: “Boris Yeltsin recently turned 69. If you’re looking to get him a gift, you can’t go wrong with a job.” (Rudolph J. Cecera)

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