LAUGH LINES

Capitalist Tools: “I guess Steve Forbes is throwing in the monogrammed towel. . . . It’s true what they say, good looks can only carry you so far. He dropped out after finishing a disappointing third in Delaware. I understand he locked himself in the wine cellar and wouldn’t come out.” (Jay Leno)

Forbes Play: “Steve Forbes announced he will drop out of the GOP presidential race after spending $65 million to finish third in Delaware, Iowa and New Hampshire. He plans to devote his life to helping poor children--namely, his.” (Argus Hamilton)

More Forbes Play: “Let’s all give Steve Forbes a hand. He finally made the long, difficult transition from flat tax to flat line.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

Child Bride Welfare: “Donald Trump has a health plan. He said there are millions of children in this country without health insurance, including three of his last six girlfriends.” (Bill Maher)

Baby Talk: “One of the hottest toys at this year’s [New York] toy show is a doll called My Real Baby. And get this, it can be taught to boost its vocabulary from ‘goo-goo’ to full sentences. . . . And not only that, the same technology is being developed for George W. Bush.” (Conan O’Brien)

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