LAUGH LINES
Swell on Wheels: “Pope John Paul II got a $1.5 million Popemobile. George W. Bush also got a new vehicle . . . they’re calling it the Dopemobile.” (Andrew Wisot)
More From Bush: “George W. Bush told John McCain his campaign-finance reform proposals will hurt the GOP. Bush was recently tutored in Republican economics. Until this year, he thought Herbert Hoover invented the vacuum cleaner.” (Argus Hamilton)
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The Essential David Letterman
Top Phrases That Were Not Spoken Last Millennium
10. “We can’t have sex here--this is the Oval Office.”
9. “Could you put that in layman’s terms, Mr. Quayle?”
8. “A bass solo? Great!”
7. “The world champion New Jersey Nets.”
6. “And this is Richard Simmons Jr.”
5. “I want my hair cut just like Donald Trump’s.”
4. “Table for two, Mr. Letterman?”
3. “I just saw the most hilarious episode of ‘Veronica’s Closet.’ ”
2. “And the NAACP Image Award goes to . . . John Rocker!”
1. “Why is the No. 1 always so damn funny?”
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.