LAUGH LINES

Cheating Heart: Ted Turner and Jane Fonda announced that they are separating. “Turns out that Ted is in love with someone else: himself.” (Daily Scoop)

B-I-N-G-Spot: “This Viagra thing is a huge moneymaker for Pfizer. The drug companies are now falling all over themselves trying to come up with an orgasm pill for older women. . . . Next time you hear Grandma yell ‘Bingo,’ she might not be playing the game.” (Jay Leno)

*

The Essential

David Letterman

Top Ways the White House

Is Different Now That

Hillary Has Moved Out

10. President no longer sleeping alone.

8. Forget dress-down Friday--now all-nude Friday and pants-less Monday through Thursday.

7. Volumes of Hillary fan mail redirected to new house.

6. Hillary no longer writing volumes of fan mail to herself.

5. No pressure to cuddle.

4. Token male intern transferred out.

3. Oval Office covered with “Vote Giuliani” posters.

2. Women’s soccer team no longer has to win World Cup to spend night at White House.

1. Menorah taken off living room mantle.

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