Message From the Valley Down Under

In Auckland, N.Z., Eris Fortunato of San Diego saw a billboard that paid tribute to the capital of Valley Talk. The billboard said:

QANTAS FLIES TO LA, LIKE, EVERY DAY.

SHE ASKED FOR IT. . . . Jane Rinaldi says that when she ordered, “How to Irritate People,” a comedy video by John Cleese, via the Internet, “the company promptly confirmed the order, and expressed its enduring gratitude for my business.”

She received a second e-mail sometime later:

Dear Jane Rinaldi,

We haven’t forgotten about your back-ordered item(s):

> > > HOW TO IRRITATE PEOPLE > > >

We apologize for the delay.

Yours sincerely,

Rinaldi viewed the delay as an appropriate warmup for “How to Irritate People.”

LET’S HOPE THE CREATURES DON’T FIND IT IRRITATING: Richard Coffey of Dana Point wonders how many snakes obey the sign he saw in Paso Robles (see photo).

A MYSTERY IN THESE PARTS: In her fascinating book, “Strange Sea Tales Along the Southern California Coast,” Claudine Burnett recounts the 1906 discovery of a mahogany box on what was then Deadman’s Island off San Pedro.

The discoverers hoped it was pirate treasure rumored to be in the area. To their horror, the box contained a skull, wrist and fingers, one of which bore a gold ring with the letters “F.C.”

Old-timers recalled the feud of two Spanish landowners of the 1850s. One had been tricked into shaking hands with the other at a masquerade ball.

In revenge, the duped landowner reportedly carried out his threat of severing his rival’s hand and burying it where the victim couldn’t find it.

The victim’s name was Francisco Carlina--or F.C.

Alas, he found out that irritating people doesn’t always pay off.

By the way, Carlina died much later. So, Burnett writes, “where the skull came from could not be explained.”

UNSEALING THE DEAL: Burnett also recounts how, in 1913, “enterprising real estate developers, who were also the city fathers of Bay City, decided to promote the playful marine creatures that lived on the sand spit at the mouth of Alamitos Bay. They did this by changing the name of their own town to Seal Beach.” (See accompanying).

Burnett adds, “The seals would be secure in Alamitos Bay until the 1950s, when the creation of the Alamitos Bay yacht harbor drove most of them away.”

Despite the paucity of seals hanging out on local sands these days, Seal Beach stubbornly insists on keeping its name.

Then again, despite the decline of the fruit crop that inspired its name, Orange County refuses to call itself anything else, either.

AND NOW FOR THE WEATHER: Kenneth Kopec of Yucaipa noticed a sign that accurately reflected the rainfall situation for last year (see photo).

miscelLAny:

Tom Martin of Riverside received a 2000 congressional history calendar from Republican Rep. Ken Calvert and noticed that it’s up to date--and then some. For example, a photo of the White House is accompanied by a caption that says:

“President John Adams and First Lady Abigail Adams moved into the still-unfinished White House in November 2000.”

*

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.