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Snow Business: “All the candidates are talking...

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Snow Business: “All the candidates are talking about [the snowstorm in Boston]. . . . Steve Forbes said the snow reminded him of when he was a little boy. Whenever it would snow, he would get all bundled up and he would jump in his toboggan and then the chauffeur would jump in the front and steer it down the hill.” (Jay Leno)

Same Old Song: “Kathie Lee Gifford has agreed to host this year’s Gospel Music Awards. [She] agreed to host after being promised that the show will feature a choir of underpaid children.” (Conan O’Brien)

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The Essential David Letterman

Top Things Hillary Clinton Whispered to Me Before the Interview

8. “Will there be time for me to do a song?”

6. “Do you mind if I give a shout out to my homie Ol’ Dirty Bastard?”

5. “I can’t believe I’m going to sit in the chair that Tony Danza sat in.”

4. “You have an audience? The show always seems so quiet.”

3. “Just thought you should know, your announcer made several clumsy passes at me.”

2. “I need $20,000 and a speedboat--don’t ask why.”

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.

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