And Leave Your 3 Dog Night Shirt at Home

So you want to take your kids to a rock concert, but maybe you’re so far out of touch that you think Korn, Phish and Leftover Salmon sound like a dinner menu.

How does a 40- to 50-something handle the concert scene without mortifying a son or daughter? Here are some tips:

* Refrain from clothing yourself in ‘70s concert attire. That Led Zeppelin T-shirt has seen better days. (Another tip: No yelling “Freebird.” Boy, does that date you.)

* Abstain from body surfing. That’s strictly for younger--and lighter--bodies.

* If you ever feel tempted to say, “In my day, a rock concert . . .”--don’t. Best to keep those stories to yourself.

* If the music’s too loud, earplugs are OK. Earmuffs are not.

* Don’t drink or eat anything offered by strangers. Otherwise, the boss will wonder why you spent the following day staring at the phone cord and giggling.

* If you dance, the kids will just die.

* Talk like a normal oldster. Throwing out words like “phat” or “awesome” doesn’t work when you’re old enough to have a 401(k).

* Most important, keep telling yourself this: You may not be as cool as you want to be, but you’re not as uncool as you may feel.