Trailer Thief Loses Appetite for Crime

Wendy Mollett of Studio City spotted this spicy item in the L.A. Independent newspaper:

“An unknown suspect or suspects attempted to rob a trailer by cutting through a padlock but apparently abandoned the robbery upon discovering that the trailer was loaded with tortillas.”

Geez. A trailer of tortillas ain’t exactly chopped liver.

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HEAVENS! An announcement of a festival at St. Andrew’s Abbey near Palmdale contained a sinful typo (see accompanying).

Who was responsible? Well, the monastery is in the Devils Punchbowl area.

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THANK-GOD-IT’S-THURSDAY DEPARTMENT: After reading the conditions of one rental car company’s offer (see accompanying), Chuck Hayden of Palm Desert wrote: “When I worked for the city of Los Angeles, I enjoyed a few of those consecutive three-day weekends.”

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BUDDY, YOUR SLIP IS SHOWING: Five of the movies on the American Film Institute’s recent list of America’s 100 best comedies featured actors cross-dressing:

Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis in “Some Like It Hot” (No. 1), Dustin Hoffman in “Tootsie” (No. 2), Cary Grant in “Bringing Up Baby” (No. 14), Robin Williams in “Mrs. Doubtfire” (No. 67) and Julie Andrews in “Victor/Victoria” (No. 76).

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SPEAKING OF ACTORS: A shop that apparently straightens out big egos was spotted by Barbara Albert of West L.A. (see accompanying).

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NOT READY TO PASS THE PLATE: A couple of months ago, mention was made here that Mitch Gordon, a Calabasas resident, was advertising his availability to women, with the license plate ASK4AD8.

So has his car been tailgated by females ever since?

“I haven’t had a single date off it,” he lamented. “But I get a lot of chuckles, people saying ‘great plate’ and the occasional, wisecracking 6-4, 250-pound tattooed motorcyclist asking me out. Fortunately, I am not at the point of taking up that offer yet.”

But might a date feel uncomfortable riding in a car with a plate that said ASK4AD8? Gordon said that’s “a problem I would love to have! I will change my plate as soon as it has done its job. I’ll pass it on to someone else in need.”

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STUPID CRIMINAL TRICKS: Some guys never learn. Like the guy who was arrested for marijuana possession, pleaded not guilty, then went over to LAPD’s Parker Center to reclaim his possessions. There, he identified himself with a phony California driver’s license. Back to jail.

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THIS JUST IN: The Los Alamitos News Enterprise reported a case of some serial swingers in Seal Beach:

“12th and Electric Avenue, 2:00 p.m.: Three 12-year-old boys were reported to be swinging from the branches of trees. They had already broken four branches.”

Sounds like a tree-strikes offense to me.

miscelLAny:

Adding to the selection of Groucho Marx one-liners that appeared here, Shelly Brodsky of Sherman Oaks writes:

“I remember about 25 years ago, being at Nate ‘n’ Al’s deli in Beverly Hills with someone who knew Groucho. We were waiting for a table as he was leaving. I was introduced and the three of us were talking, when this nice, little old lady approached with pencil and paper in hand.

“ ‘Pardon me,’ she said, ‘Aren’t you Groucho Marx?’ He slowly removed the cigar from his mouth and said, ‘That’s funny, I was just about to ask you the same question.’ ”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.