Serving Up a Spot of Tea and Self-Esteem

Girls in sweet straw hats and lacy new dresses wriggled their fingers into white gloves. Women in larger, more dramatic hats fiddled with the girls’ loose curls and pinned a pink ribbon on each dress.

Then the girls and the women who have vowed to help them glided to elegantly set tables shimmering under the huge chandeliers of the St. Regis Hotel.

They placed their pocketbooks on the floor under their chairs, folded their napkins and patted them on their laps, fold facing in. Waiters bearing silver pots poured tea into delicate, gold-rimmed cups. A harpist played.

*

For 20 girls from two of Washington’s bleakest neighborhoods, it was time for tea.

“Tea is elegant, tranquil. You can lose yourself--or meet yourself--at tea,” said Superior Court Judge Mary A. Gooden Terrell, founder of the High Tea Society.

Terrell, her face half hidden by a divine creation with a wide brim, loves tea and teatime. It was her idea to combine that love with volunteer work, which resulted in the High Tea Society.

“People say, ‘Why that name? It sounds put-offish,’ ” Terrell said. “But we are trying to set high standards. We are not ordinary. I want people to take note wherever these young girls arrive with their hats and gloves, and say, ‘Who are those girls?’ ”

*

On this Sunday, friends, relatives and supporters gathered in the downtown hotel to see the girls from Terrell Junior High School and Harris Educational Center inducted into the new mentoring program. It offers educational and cultural activities, as well as self-esteem training and writing workshops, to inner-city girls ages 12 to 18.

“We think if their self-esteem is raised, it will transfer as well into their learning process,” said Lorna John, a lawyer and mentor who was mistress of ceremony at the induction. Each girl signs a pledge to get good grades, not get pregnant and set a good example for others, John said.

Mentors include lawyers, teachers, homemakers and dentists--many of them friends who met regularly for tea--who will follow the girls at least until they graduate from high school.

“You don’t leave the block, your view is small. We want to introduce them to the world,” Terrell said.

Members bought the hats for the girls, and a milliner taught them how to decorate their brims with flowers and ribbons.

“You see yourself in a hat and gloves, and you won’t see yourself the same,” Terrell said.

And Ikeia Gafford, 13, said being with the society women has changed her already.

“At first I had a big blabbermouth and a bad attitude,” said Ikeia. “Now I know I can talk to my mentor about whatever is bothering me.”

“I like the tea setting. It’s professional and classy,” said Omitola Odunlami, 15. Her mother, Angela, who is from Nigeria, said the society “helps keep them on track. In this country, there are a lot of distractions.”

Each girl was introduced as “Miss,” with a brief biography and her aspirations: “She wants to become a police offer, doctor or WNBA player,” “To live a happy, nonviolent life. To be the next Mother Teresa.”

*

The mentors presented a bone-china teacup, each a different pattern, to each girl. Then the girls lined up as Terrell, in her black judge’s robe, led them in the society pledge.

Terrell turned to the crowd: “Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the High Tea Society Class of 2000.”

The audience stood and cheered.