When Work, Home Life Meet, Ask Key Questions

The good news when you’re in business with your spouse is that all of the profit goes into only one bank account--yours. But the downside can be the enormous financial anxiety you bring to your family when the business isn’t going well.

One woman who wrote to me for help is feeling the pressure of a new business and unpaid bills:

“My husband and I have started a business, and we have bill collectors at the door. He is working a day job and working in our business evenings and weekends. I am working only on our business, and I am thinking about getting a job. I want this business to grow, but I’m so anxious, and I think that if I work too, we can get the bills behind us. I just need a word of wisdom.”

Hundreds of thousands of entrepreneurs face this moment every day. Should I keep plugging away full time at this business, or should I get a job and moonlight at the business until it is more profitable?

Because the woman describes this as a couple-owned business, whatever decision she makes must be made with her husband. Here are several questions for them and others in a similar situation to ponder:

* Is there evidence from our customers and our marketing efforts that a market exists for our services, and that in time we could develop this service into a full-time, profitable business?

* What are the negative consequences to us of not being able to pay the bills? Is our credit rating being destroyed? How will that hurt us personally and professionally? How much anxiety is this situation creating for us? Are we fighting more, sleeping less and enjoying our life and our business less because we are so worried about money?

* Is there any way to reduce our expenses, rather than requiring both of us to get jobs? Or, is it possible to get a part-time job, rather than a full-time one, so I can continue to put more hours into the business?

* Is there any kind of job I could get that would actually be synergistic with the business, and help it grow, by developing my skills or professional network?

* Is this a case of us paying off some long-term debt, or are we continually living above our means, so that bill collectors will probably still be at our door, even if we are both working full time? Are we capable of managing our money responsibly, or do we need help from a credit counseling service, accountant, or some other professional to assist us?

* How badly do we want this business to work? Enough to really suffer for it? Is it likely that the business will falter, or not grow, if we both work at it only weekends and evenings? Or, do we both have the physical stamina and commitment to keep working long hours at the business, even if it means less sleep and leisure time?

* Forget what everyone else is telling us. What does our gut tell us is the right thing to do, for our physical and emotional well-being, to protect our marriage, and to achieve the goals that we want for our family?

* And here is one last question to consider:

Is fear of financial disaster acting as a motivator for us, prompting us to work even harder at the business and propelling it forward, or is fear stopping us from working at our best?

It may be, ironically, that you’ll be more successful with your business when you are not depending on it for your livelihood. Released of the terror you feel when the bill collectors come calling, you might be freer to devote your energies in a productive way to your business.

Your business success is related not only to the quantity of hours worked but also their quality. If you are a nervous wreck much of the day, you can devote full-time hours to the business but not get far because your fears are ruining your ability to be effective. However, for some people there is nothing like the bill collector at the door to get you to make a sales call you are scared to make. Which one is true for you?

Whatever decision you make, it does not have to be a permanent one. You and your spouse can revisit this question regularly, choosing what appears to be the wisest path at the time.

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Azriela Jaffe is the author of eight books, including, “Starting from No, Ten Strategies to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection and Succeed in Business.” She welcomes reader response and questions to azriela@mindspring.com.