Police and Politics: “At the Democratic convention...

Police and Politics: “At the Democratic convention next month in Los Angeles . . . the [LAPD] says it’s going to keep political activists in line by using rubber bullets and pepper spray. . . . Coincidentally, that’s the same way they’ll keep the crowd awake during Al Gore’s speech.” (Conan O’Brien)

Taking a Detour: “Drivers are paying too much attention to cell phones, navigation systems and TVs. No wonder AAA is worried--this really cuts into the usual distractions of reading, grooming and eating.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

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The Essential David Letterman

Top Ways to Make the

Tour de France More Exciting

9. Only one bicycle; fight over who gets to ride it.

8. Place last in Stage 12, must ride Stage 13 without bicycle seat.

7. Day 3: Release the Dobermans!

5. No finish line; winner is last guy to collapse from exhaustion.

4. Move it to that Navy bombing range in Puerto Rico.

3. Make ‘em take enough steroids to ride 500 miles an hour.

1. Make it the Tour de South Bronx.

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