We Can’t Forget We Set the Example

My daughter Jennifer’s letter raises important issues about responsibility. I applaud her for holding the feet of adults to the fire when it comes to the way in which they contribute to the problems of a society that drinks and drives. As one of those adults whom Jennifer may have in mind who sometimes overlooks and disregards the opinions of youth when those views conflict with his own, I need to be reminded that if there is a problem I may be part of it.

It is important to remember, however, that the reason a heavy emphasis is placed on teenage drinking and driving is that it is a serious problem. Statistical evidence teaches that teenagers are in a higher “at risk” category when it comes to likelihood of accidents than adults, even before drinking is added to the equation. Adults, who remember only too well the crazy and often risky things they did as teenagers, know that high accident rates go with the territory for teenage drivers. It is a rare parent who does not worry at least a bit when her or his teenage child is driving alone or with other teenagers.

Adding alcohol to the mix for teenagers raises the stakes to potentially frightening proportions. Every time a teenager who has been drinking hops behind the wheel of a car and starts up, that car becomes a potential instrument of harm, death and/or destruction. Even if it happens just once, that is too much. Sadly, it happens often. With the stakes so high, we are right as a society to be concerned about teenage drinking and driving.

While I acknowledge the validity of that concern, it would be a mistake to let adults off the hook. They are a major part of the problem. A society that glorifies alcoholic beverage consumption with advertising built on engaging images of cute little iguanas and catchy phrases lauding the “beer man” should not be surprised that our youth eagerly want to join in all the fun. Children who grow up in an environment where alcoholic beverage consumption is commonplace learn from example, no matter what parents may say about it. Even a so-called “responsible parent” who sees herself or himself as a “social drinker” and consumes alcohol in moderate amounts sends a signal to youth about the acceptability of drinking. Add to that a “social drinker” parent who drives children to a party or event, drinks while there, and then drives back home with the children afterward, and the signal becomes a beacon. We are dishonest if we do not acknowledge that youth are influenced by that example.

Like many parents, I pride myself on what I believe are the positive values I have taught and continue to teach to my children. Jennifer’s letter reminds me, though, that values--both positive and negative--are taught by adults in many ways. When we keep that in mind and do not let ourselves forget the importance of the examples we set, we come just a bit closer to bringing the unacceptable problem of drinking and driving--by both adults and teenagers--under control.