A Love Note With Mettle

Hope you’ll excuse me for giving you a Valentine’s Day story so late (I promise not to be so thoughtless next time):

Being a conscientious husband, Joseph Feinstein of Sherman Oaks bought a Valentine’s card for Fran, his wife of 43 years, several days ahead of the occasion. The card was covered with hearts and “I love you” declarations. He put it in his desk. When he took it out on Valentine’s Day, a Post-it note was attached. The note said: “This card had better be for me or you’re in deep doo-doo.”

FIGHTING FOR BUSINESS: The proud tradition of brawling in minor league hockey, celebrated in the Paul Newman movie “Slap Shot,” continues with the Long Beach Ice Dogs.

The team has even sold corporate sponsorships for the penalty boxes, both of which are often occupied by fistfighting, high-sticking frolickers.

The sponsor of the visiting team’s penalty box is especially appropriate: Avengers Security Services.

NOW THAT’S A LEAP YEAR! You may have read that years ending with a double zero only have a Feb. 29 every 400 years. But how many have a Feb. 30? That’s what Cheryl Couperus of Redlands wondered (see photo). Caltrans, you’re in the penalty box.

ON THE ROAD: On a visit to Hawaii, Spencer Dean of Santa Barbara found a church where there’s probably a lot of praying for surf (see photo).

HE WON’T COME UNGLUED IN A CRISIS: Brian Lee Cross of Orange, a Libertarian candidate for the state Assembly, lists his occupation as wallpaper hanger.

DUELING URBAN FOLK TALES: A Times article about the “Car Talk” radio show recounted a caller’s story about a car dealer who buys a living Schnauzer to replace the dead one he finds in a customer’s back seat.

The dealer assumed the animal had been accidentally killed when the car was brought in. When the owner of the car returns, the new dog runs up to her and she shrieks, “That’s not my dog! My dog was dead. I was taking him to the taxidermist when my car broke down.”

It’s an urban folk tale, of course, but a different version of the one that was making the rounds of the San Gabriel Valley a while back.

In that telling, a family’s free-roaming dog is found with the neighbors’ dead rabbit in his mouth. The neighbors, who have threatened to sue over the dog in the past, are on vacation. The family cleans up the rabbit as best it can and puts it in its cage in the backyard. The neighbors return and when they see the rabbit, Mom shrieks, “It died and we buried it. Now it’s back in its cage!”

CELEBRITY ENDORSERS: Vicki Roberts, a municipal judge candidate in L.A., is, I believe, the only office-seeker who lists Red Buttons among her backers.

THORNY PROOFREADING PROBLEM: Someone left a flier on the car of Ross Reilly of Beverly Hills that would appeal to someone who was interested in gardening or drinking (see accompanying).

SPEAKING OF DRINKING: Prior to last year’s L.A. Marathon, I noted that Sparkletts, the official bottled water of the race, had donated several thousand gallons of water for the event. But I wondered how runners who drank Evian would manage. Well, I just heard from a spokeswoman for Sparkletts who told me that the Danone Group, which owns Evian, has acquired Sparkletts.

Wow! I didn’t know Only in L.A. could get such results.

miscelLAny:

A colleague spotted an IHOP sign in Costa Mesa that had several letters burned out. The transformed sign said:

IHOP

URANT

Well, that’s enough ranting for today. . . .