Scriptwriter Skewered by a Judicial Reviewer

A funny thing happened to U.S. District Judge Richard A. Paez on his way to the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals. Toward the end of his record 1,506-day wait for Senate confirmation, Paez was called upon to play movie critic. We give His Honor two thumbs up.

The case involved scriptwriter Vince Offer’s copyright infringement claim against 20th Century Fox. Offer claimed that the story for the wildly popular Ben Stiller-Cameron Diaz flick, “There’s Something About Mary,” was strikingly similar to a collection of skits he wrote and registered in 1995 under the name “UCM.”

Paez found that Offer’s work amounted to Nothing About Mary, and wasn’t all that funny. He granted the studio’s request to toss the case out of federal court. His written opinion would make any film critic proud.

First the story line:

“ ‘UCM’ shares no similarities with ‘Mary,’ ” the judge wrote. “As to plot, ‘Mary’ tells the story of boy-meets-girl, boy-loses-girl, boy-gets-girl. The sequence of events follows the comedic adventures of Ted as he attempts to rekindle this relationship with his high school love. In contrast, neither ‘UCM’ nor any of the skits it contains follows a remotely similar plot or sequence of events.”

As for mood:

“ ‘Mary’ is genuinely humorous and, while ‘politically incorrect’ has a much lighter tone and a faster pace than ‘UCM,’ which is dark, not funny and features disturbing depictions of necrophilia and the like. Although both works can be broadly characterized as ‘comedies,’ in contrast to ‘Mary,’ ‘UCM’ is sick, not funny.”

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BE CAREFUL OUT THERE: Writers Jerome and Laurie Metcalf have sued producer Steven Bochco, actor Michael Warren and others, claiming that the new series “City of Angels” is based on ideas and characters that Warren, a longtime friend, promised to shop around for them.

The writers claim in their Los Angeles Superior Court suit that they first came up with the idea in 1989, when Bochco and Warren were involved in the highly successful series “Hill Street Blues”--Bochco as producer and Warren as one of the police characters, Bobby Hill.

The Metcalfs say they wrote a treatment for something they called “Combat Zone,” and hired writers to complete a couple of scripts, which were copyrighted in 1992.

All the while, the suit says, they stayed in touch with Warren, who also acted as spokesman for their Bald Is Beautiful scalp product.

And so, the writers said, they were “shocked and devastated” in January to learn about “City of Angels,” which seemed awfully familiar.

“A cruel blow was struck when the defendant, L. Michael Warren, appeared in the show, in that the plaintiffs had intended their idea, treatment, script and project to be a vehicle and opportunity for him,” the suit says.

The writers allege breach of contract and other counts and seek compensation for their work and ideas as well as unspecified damages.

Warren and Bochco could not be reached for comment.

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McMEHTA: Whitewater should be a faint glow in Susan McDougal’s rearview mirror by now. So should conductor Zubin Mehta and his actress wife, Nancy. But the legal spat continues between McDougal and her former Brentwood employers. In the latest chapter of this long and twisted saga, the Mehtas have asked Superior Court Judge Alan G. Buckner to toss out McDougal’s civil suit, which accuses them of slander and malicious prosecution.

Way back in 1989, when Whitewater was just a pretty-sounding name for a belly-up real estate development, McDougal worked for the Mehtas as a personal assistant and bookkeeper. Her departure in 1992 was less than cordial, with Nancy accusing her of stealing thousands of Mehta bucks.

McDougal was acquitted of the theft by a jury in Santa Monica in November 1998. In her civil suit, she accuses the Mehtas of feeding false allegations to police and prosecutors. She alleges that even after her acquittal, Zubin Mehta told a reporter for the London Sunday Telegraph that McDougal stole a highly inflated amount--$500,000--from him.

Seeking a dismissal of McDougal’s suit, the Mehtas’ attorney, Alan I. Rothenberg, argues that an acquittal does not mean there wasn’t probable cause to support filing the charges. The Mehtas were crime victims without any malicious motives, the court papers say. Besides, Rothenberg argues, nowhere in McDougal’s suit does she say the Mehtas lied.

In his response, McDougal lawyer Matthew Geragos counters that without the Mehtas’ “false information”’ the criminal case would “never would have been initiated and pursued.” McDougal uncovered the Mehtas’ malicious motives during cross-examination at the criminal trial, her court papers state. As for the allegation of lying, McDougal’s court papers say she was just being polite.

The judge is mulling it over.

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HEY, HOCKEY PUCK!: Comedian Don Rickles, who has made a career out of insulting people, is being sued by a Beverly Hills Hotel security guard who claims Rickles went too far when he made racist remarks and punched the guard and a hotel patron.

Lee Lark’s Los Angeles Superior Court suit claims that on Nov. 13 Rickles shouted at the patron, who is African American, that he could remember the days when black people weren’t allowed in the posh hotel. Rickles then punched the patron in the face, the suit says.

“Shocked and humiliated,” the suit says, Lark told Rickles: “Don’t you ever do that again!”

He claims the comedian responded, “So what if I do?” and then punched him in the head and ear.

Lark seeks compensatory damages on allegations of assault and battery, and unspecified punitive damages. Rickles couldn’t be reached.