Vote by Reform Rabbis Is an Endorsement of Sacred Relationships

Although ceremonies have been performed for gay couples for the last two decades, the recent vote by Reform rabbis on same-sex union breaks down the barriers that have existed for too long.

We in the heterosexual community have been estranged from our gay and lesbian community far too long. The historic vote, by the Central Conference of American Rabbis, was one in which I participated. It enabled many rabbis to articulate an understanding of love and love relationships in our communities that can be deemed sacred. We are strangers no more.

In the ancient world, “sacrifices” were God’s requirements for spiritual growth. We have outgrown those ancient requirements. We have also outgrown the Biblical notion that homosexuality is a sin. In ancient times, the Israelite leaders were focused on building a community and commanded the people “to be fruitful and multiply.” Homosexuality was a threat to growth and to community. Today gays and lesbians are no threat. They have a long history of sacred commitments in relationships with one another and place a high value on family life and community involvement. The vote by my colleagues to celebrate marriage is a vote for new sexual ethics that include all relationships as sacred. God’s world is unfolding itself in new special ways.

I suggest that we leave the Garden of Eden where Adam and Eve were embarrassed and ashamed by their sexuality. The shame they felt is felt thousands of years later by straights and gays. It was a religious system that controlled behavior by a God who punished Adam and Eve for seeking pleasure and meaning. We need an Eden for grown-ups.

In this new century, sexual ethics and family and monogamy, economic justice and gender equality have replaced the old rules with a greater maturity in establishing sacred relationships. The sensuous book, “The Song of Songs” is for adults who sexually connect for the sake of pleasure and love. It is a book for all of us. We must stop punishing people who embrace a lifestyle that may be different from our heterosexual world.

The March 29 vote in Greensboro, N.C., is a vote to enter into a covenant with each other--to respect individual conscience rather than being obedient to antiquity.

King David was an erotic lover who was also a singer, a shepherd, a guerrilla and an adept king. His wives were many and varied. His relationship with Jonathan was not only erotically charged but also presumably sexual: “Wonderful was your love to me, more than the love of women.” (1 Samuel).

In North Carolina, we affirmed that human sexual diversity is part of the richness of life.

For me this historic vote envisions a society in which sexual behavior, whether heterosexual, bisexual, gay and lesbian or celibate is all considered healthy. Our brothers and sisters should be affirmed not feared or despised.

I am proud to be a Reform rabbi.