LAUGH LINES

Separate Ways: “New York City Mayor Rudy ‘Gigilo-ani’ has announced that he is filing for separation from his wife. He thanked his wife for their years together and thanked President Clinton for making cheating fashionable again.” (Jay Leno)

Stage-Struck: “Paula Jones . . . is going to pose nude in Penthouse magazine. . . . Doctors believe she is in the third stage of being a Clinton girlfriend. Stage No. 1: You get groped. Stage No. 2: You sue for harassment. Stage No. 3: You pose naked in Penthouse.” (David Letterman)

A Supporting Hand: “During a TV media luncheon recently, Jerry Springer defended Dr. Laura’s upcoming TV show. He said even though he finds her offensive, her 1st Amendment rights must be protected. . . . That’s when you know your show’s in trouble--when the only person who you can get to stand behind you is Jerry Springer!” (Andrew Wisot)

Customer Service: “Frank and Kathie Lee Gifford discussed Frank’s fling on ‘20/20 Downtown’ recently. They described how they patched their marriage back together. Kathie Lee is working harder to take care of his needs. In fact, every night she greets him with ‘Coffee, tea or milk?’ ” (Daily Scoop)

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