It’s the Tooth: Gore Gets Edge in Poll

Chew on this: Vice President Al Gore’s teeth won the unenthusiastic endorsement of a group of California dentists, who complained that both presidential candidates “frequently smile with their lips closed.”

One dentist even charged that both Gore and Gov. George W. Bush have “crooked teeth.”

In the poll, commissioned by Esthetic Professionals, a cosmetic dentistry group in Woodland Hills, Gore’s choppers received 24 votes, compared with 21 for Bush’s.

The dentists, as you might expect, urged both Gore and Bush to show their pearly whites more often.

“If a candidate continually smiles with his lips tightly shut together, the perception may be that the candidate is deceptive, ill at ease, or just plain arrogant,” said Dr. Bruce Crispin of Esthetic Professionals.

Hmmm. The lack of a smile didn’t seem to dim George Washington’s popularity.

THE LATEST MANAGEMENT FAD? Bobbi Balderman of San Juan Capistrano snapped a banner (see photo) that you might suspect hangs at MTA headquarters. Or City Hall. Or Dodger Stadium. Or USC’s practice football field. But it’s really at a bookstore.

ON THE ROAD: Wayne Coombs of Hollywood came upon a sign in Missouri (see photo) that prompted him to comment: “Staying overnight at an auto repair place? I don’t think so!”

TOO LATE FOR AN AUTO REPAIR SHOP? In Los Feliz, George Poate saw a parked jalopy with a bumper sticker that read:

ANSWER MY PRAYERS

STEAL THIS CAR.

Wonder if the keys were in the ignition.

BEFORE WE BID ADIEU TO HALLOWEEN: David Farber spotted a job notice for an individual who can “effectively work accurse an organization.”

PHYLLIS’ UNMENTIONABLES: Some tidbits from the tour guide “California Babylon,” by Kristan Lawson and Anneli Rufus:

* The Celebrity Lingerie Hall of Fame at Frederick’s of Hollywood has displayed the underwear of numerous stars, including “Phyllis Diller’s bra (embroidered, ‘This Side Up’).”

* The Lawrence Welk Museum in Escondido, honoring the king of “champagne music,” is home of “the world’s largest champagne glass, 6 feet high and 5 feet across.”

* John Wayne, “craving fresh milk,” allegedly once brought a live cow to his penthouse suite at the Sunset Tower (now the Argyle) on Sunset Boulevard.

* At the Hyatt West Hollywood, “Jim Morrison dangled off a balcony, Axl Rose held a barbecue on another balcony and Keith Richards tossed a TV out a window”--luckily not all on the same night.

* The Unarius Academy of Science, based in El Cajon, “believes that by the year 2001, 32 spaceships will have come to Earth from the planet Myton. At that point they will invite Earth to join the Interplanetary Confederation of Planets.”

And why haven’t the presidential candidates stated their positions on whether Earth should join? There they go again, being tight-lipped.

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Here’s one that “California Babylon” overlooked. Jean McTernan of L.A. discovered a company with a vehicle that belongs in show biz (see accompanying).

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.