Two Years Later, Badly Injured War Correspondent Rethinks His Regrets

Almost two years after Associated Press correspondent Ian Stewart was shot in the head while covering the civil war in Sierra Leone, he still asks himself if it was worth it--would he take the same chances today for a story?

To even his surprise, the answer is no longer no.

“Will I risk my life for a story again? No. Not even if the world cares next time,” Stewart wrote one year ago, after months of operations and therapy, learning how to wiggle his toes, curl his fingers, stand and eventually, with the help of a cane, walk.

His left arm and hand were paralyzed and his left leg impaired after the attack by teenage rebels that killed AP Television News producer Myles Tierney in January 1999.

“I think I wrote that a little bit early,” Stewart said recently at the annual AP Managing Editors conference as, between standing ovations from his peers, he accepted an award for the moving account of his recovery.

Elaborating on his remarks in a telephone interview, he said: “It was too soon to see how much interest there really was in Sierra Leone.”

Stewart, 34, who was drawn to journalism because of the excitement and because he believed he could make a difference, has now come full circle in the way he views the profession and the risks war correspondents take.

Stewart now says he believes the reporting he and others did from Sierra Leone had an impact, raising awareness at the United Nations and in the United States and Britain.

“I still don’t think the international community is reacting quickly enough, or well enough, but at least the door has been opened,” he said in the interview. “I’d like to think our work started the ball rolling.”

The United Nations now has some 13,000 peacekeepers stationed in Sierra Leone, trying to salvage a peace agreement that the government signed with Revolutionary United Front rebels in July 1999. The civil war has killed tens of thousands of civilians since 1991. Britain, the nation’s former colonial ruler, also has troops in Sierra Leone to help train the army.

The United Nations also has banned the purchase of diamonds from rebels in Sierra Leone and instituted a certification process so legally mined gemstones can be sold. Diamonds have helped finance the war in Sierra Leone.

“I’m not optimistic about Sierra Leone, but I’m proud of what we did and the sacrifices we’ve made,” Stewart said. “Ultimately, it’s what we do. We try to give these people a voice, make the world care, not forget them. It’s something to be proud of.”

He attributed some of his change in perspective to the death of Miguel Gil Moreno de Mora, an APTN cameraman who was killed in a rebel ambush in Sierra Leone in May. Kurt Schork, a correspondent for the Reuters news agency, also was killed.

“When I think of Miguel going back in after seeing what happened to myself and Myles--that he was still willing to take the risk--that really changed the way I viewed things,” he said.

Stewart said he suffered a major relapse after learning of the attack that killed Moreno de Mora, which occurred just over a year after his own.

“I relived the whole event and had to spend a month back with my psychologist,” he said, adding that he suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder.

Stewart, who has started to walk without a cane, still has trouble using his left arm and is unable to touch-type. Because of the extent of his brain injury--the bullet entered through the center of his forehead--he still suffers from fatigue.

He hopes one day to return overseas as a journalist.

“I wouldn’t mind parachuting in for hairy stories from time to time, but I don’t want to be based in a conflict area,” said Stewart, who served in India, Pakistan, Vietnam, Cambodia and Afghanistan before going to Africa.

“But when I think about going back in the war zone, if I ever do, I’m sure I will use a lot more caution.”

And he says he has learned the importance of listening to your instincts, a message he wants to pass on to other young reporters who cover civil conflict--from war to street riots.

“Admit to yourself if it’s too much,” he said. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of to say ‘It’s too far, I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this.’ No story is worth dying for.”

Of his own injury, he says, “I wouldn’t want to be hurt this way again, but it takes some of the sting away to think that maybe our work did some good.”