LAUGH LINES

Light Reading: “It’s starting to get nasty--the campaign. They’re starting to go after each other. The gloves are coming off. . . . They are getting catty with each other. Like [recently], in Sarasota, Fla., Al Gore visited a bookstore. I guess he wanted to go somewhere where he was sure he wouldn’t run into George W. Bush.” (Jay Leno)

Eat It Up: “President Clinton and Hillary observed their 25th wedding anniversary . . . alone together in Chappaqua, [N.Y.]. They’re pretty set in their ways. Out of habit, they charged each other $25,000 to sit down and have dinner.” (Argus Hamilton)

Cheers!: “Wal-Mart has announced it’s coming out with its own brand of wine. . . . Perfect for when you’re in the mood for wine and Cheez Whiz.” (Andrew Wisot)

Lights, Camera, Action: “Al Gore says he’s got to take a closer look at the suggestion, but, yes, he would consider putting a 24-hour-a-day Web cam in the Oval Office. Well, once Clinton leaves office, what fun would that be?” (Mark Wheeler)

What’s in a Name: “The Firestone tire company accepted the resignation of its CEO, Masatoshi Ono. I’m not sure it sends the best signal when the head of your company is named O-No!” (Leno)

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