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If Hannibal Lecter Needs a Lawyer, We’ve Got Just the Guy

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Chew on this. When Executive Assistant U.S. Atty. David Marcus quit his job recently to join the L.A. office of a Houston firm, one of his new colleagues sang his praises thusly in the L.A. Daily Journal:

“He’s the kind of guy we’re looking for in Los Angeles. We need a hunter who can kill and eat what they kill.”

Which prompted a note to the newspaper from another L.A. lawyer, also named David Marcus.

Marcus No. 2 said: “I want to assure my clients, opposing counsel and opposing parties that although I am a zealous advocate within the ethical bounds of the law, I neither advocate cannibalism nor practice it.”

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One lawyer who’s opposed to cannibalism--hey, it’s a start!

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WHICH ONES LOOK HUNGRIER? Here’s part of a trial transcript in Charles Sevilla’s “Great Moments in Courtroom History” column in the magazine CACJ Forum:

“Attorney: And you looked at these gentlemen. You have no question in your mind that of the six gentlemen seated at this table, three of them are wearing yellow, which look like jail clothes; is that correct?”

“Judge: Counsel has on a yellow tie; small bow tie but it’s yellow.”

“Attorney: Of the six men that are seated here, do you have any question of which three men are in custody and which three men are lawyers.”

“Witness: No, I don’t.”

“Judge: That doesn’t mean who should be in custody, but go ahead.”

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SUCH A DEAL: Someone close to me spotted a printer cartridge ad that sounds too good to be true. Imagine the savings if you buy in bulk! (see accompanying).

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.

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