LAUGH LINES

Big Apple Goes Bananas: “New York erupted in joy over the all-New York World Series. . . . A recent poll of New Yorkers says 80% of them wouldn’t live anywhere else in the world. Besides, it would violate the terms of their probation.” (Argus Hamilton)

In Disguise: “Halloween’s just a few days away. . . . And the most popular mask this year is Regis Philbin. . . . And the least favorite mask? The chief executive of Firestone tires.” (Andrew Wisot)

Mr. Oink: “Greenpeace is claiming that two European firms have mixed human DNA with pig DNA in the same egg. . . . So they create a human being with pig DNA. How bad is that guy’s cholesterol count?” (Jay Leno)

Just Misbehavin’: “A teen character study reveals that many of the nation’s high school students lie, cheat, fight and show up for class drunk. It looks like the NFL players’ student outreach program is really having an impact.” (Alex Kaseberg)

Fitting In--Finally: “Rudy Giuliani says the Subway Series is polarizing N.Y. . . . Husbands and wives are pitted against each other. For the first time in a year, Hillary Clinton finally feels at home in New York.” (Hamilton)

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