A Film Festival Fit for an Empire

Smogdance, the not completely serious festival saluting the films (if not the skies) of the Inland Empire, is back for its third year.

It’s a great opportunity for would-be Quentin Tarantinos. (Actually Tarantino has sort of turned into a would-be Quentin Tarantino, but that’s another matter.)

Movie-makers pay no entry fee for the Nov. 3-5 event at the Cal Poly Pomona Downtown Center, and they get free, unlimited popcorn (unless the machine breaks down, like it did last year).

The festival director is Enid Baxter Blader and if that name rings a bell it’s probably because you remember her one-minute 1999 film, “After You Dream About Someone, That’s When You Really Realize They’re Dead.”

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SMOGDANCE (CONT).: “Animals and Plants” has been eliminated as a category, the judges having grown tired of dramas involving cows.

The categories this year are (1) Inland California; (2) Hometown Landscapes, Real or Imagined, (3) U.S.-Made Spanish Language and (4) Open (anything on VHS tape). Oct. 1 is the entry deadline (information: [909] 397-9716).

Festival founder Dan Dobrin said the “open” category eliminates disputes over what constitutes “Inland California.” One entrant admitted that his film “had nothing to do with Pomona,” but added, “We did shoot it in Burbank, which has a lot of smog.”

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COLD PROPERTY: Today’s selections in the offbeat real estate market (see accompanying) include houses:

* In a wild part of Corona (submitted by Gloria McCardle).

* Fronted by a fence whether you like it or not (Michael Kory).

* In “turnkey” condition (Marco Costales and Scott Henderson). I’m sure the real estate agent would say you should gobble it up.

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IN A PINCH: I mentioned the Beverly Hills’ radio station (AM 1500) advised bee sting victims to scrape the stinger free with an object such as “a credit card.”

Very Beverly Hillsian thinking, you’ll agree. Alas, it’s also antiquated, says researcher Rick Vetter of UC Riverside.

The old thinking was that you shouldn’t pinch the sting area with your fingers because that would force more venom into your body and make the welt larger.

Actually, Vetter said, the venom flow is regulated (and unaffected by pinching). It takes about 10 seconds for the sting to empty the venom.

“So,” Vetter concluded, “the more time you spend fumbling around to get out a credit card or knife blade, the more venom you get.”

In other words, pinch away.

Vetter and his boss, professor Kirk Visscher, reached this conclusion after subjecting themselves to bee stings twice a day for two weeks. Wasn’t that a lot of pain?

“Occupational hazard,” Vetter said. “No worse than a paper cut.”

miscelLAny:

The “RATS” message that appeared momentarily in the Republicans’ TV attack ad made me recall a subliminal message in the movie “Beauty and the Beast.” If you slow down the tape in the scene in which Crazy Old Maurice is lost on horseback looking for the Beast’s castle, you’ll see that he comes to a signpost with arrows pointing toward . . .

Newhall, Valencia and Anaheim.

It was an inside joke by Disney animators.

Hmmm. “RATS” and Mickey Mouse. Don’t you see the connection? No? Wait until you see my documentary on the subject at Smogdance.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.