Straight Talk on Bush-Gore Debates

People keep sending me quotations from George W. Bush.

And there’s usually a sarcastic note attached. Such as: “Did you see George W.’s latest gem the other day?” Or: “Get a load of what Yogi Bush said last week.”

Rarely a day goes by without somebody e-mailing a remark made by the hard-riding Texan along the ol’ campaign trail. Or somebody sticking a Post-It note on a magazine article and dropping into a mailbox some dumb comment by the Republican candidate.

It’s as if, with the election less than two months away, there’s a movement afoot to make sure no George W. goof-up goes unnoticed.

I don’t know if Democrats sit around with scissors clipping out Bush’s quotes like grocery coupons or what. But I’m telling you, neither Will Rogers nor Winston Churchill ever got their political observations quoted on a good day as often as this guy does on a bad day.

As a rule, people tended not to make fun of Will’s or Winnie’s speechmaking. (The way they spoke, yes, but not their speeches.)

Gov. Bush, however, is apparently challenging the modern-day record for most times mangling the English language during a single political campaign.

The record, as you know, is held by George W.’s father’s vice president, Dan Quayle, who could never seem to persuade a majority of Americans to listen to what he had to say, rather than how he said it.

Quayle spent four years a heartbeat away from becoming the most powerful man in the world, but his entire legacy to some ignoramuses remains focused on the fact that he wasn’t that hot of a speller.

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Anyway, I’m glad that Bush and his opponent, Al Gore, have resolved their differences and agreed to meet face-to-face in three nationally televised debates. Because this will give us a chance to see and hear for ourselves the words of George W., unscripted.

Some of the details still need to be ironed out, but the first debate will be held Oct. 3 at a university in Massachusetts.

I would imagine that this debate will be conducted on a high intellectual plane, so at no time will Gore dare Bush: “Spell Massachusetts.”

Next will come an Oct. 11 debate at a university in the Carolinas--nope, not Bob Jones--and the last one is scheduled for Oct. 17 at a campus in St. Louis.

And I figure there’s a pretty fair chance that the fur will fly.

Gov. Bush has been taking a considerable amount of heat for trying to duck Gore in debates, so I have a feeling that George W. is going to take the offensive. He’ll probably promise to be the kind of president his father was.

At which point Gore will probably reply: “George, I knew that George Bush, and you’re not that George Bush.”

Or at least I hope so, because I’d really like to see how Gov. Bush reacts when he’s provoked.

After all, if we elect him president, Bush is going to find himself in a number of stressful situations. This could give us a better idea of how George W. would handle himself under pressure.

Perhaps he will skewer Gore with silver-tongued responses. Perhaps he will amaze Al with his eloquence.

Perhaps all these quote-clippers who keep poking fun at George W. have the guy all wrong. Maybe he’s more articulate than they think.

Oh, I know that on an NBC program he supposedly said of a certain individual, “I’m going to tell the nation what I think about him as a human being and a person.”

And that a New York newspaper once quoted George W. as saying: “I understand small business growth. I was one.”

And that another time, Bush was heard to tell a New Hampshire audience: “I know how hard it is to put food on your family.”

Thanks for sending me those, not to mention his mention of “the emotionality of death penalty cases.”

Or the one from the Economist magazine, which cited George W.’s concern about a need to “keep good relations with the Grecians.”

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Many of us remember the Texas governor’s being ambushed along the campaign trail at one point, being given a pop quiz to see how many foreign leaders he could identify. (And not doing very well.)

I doubt if anyone will ask those kinds of loaded questions at the upcoming Bush-Gore debates. Nevertheless, my money’s on George W. to have done his homework. You won’t stump him this time on anyone, including the Grecian leader.

What’s important here is, a few malaprops do not a bad president make.

OK, so George W. might never make his mark in our history books with oratory worthy of the first of our 42 presidents, the original George W.

But Bush still gets off a good line now and then, as when he said of Bill Clinton: “The current president pledged the most ethical administration in American history. As it turned out, he fell 41 presidents short.”

Funny, I never hear Bush-bashers quoting that one.

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Mike Downey’s column appears Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Write to: Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012. E-mail: mike.downey@latimes.com