Laura’s House a Real Home

Her pals thought Helen Kendall had it all: loving husband, good health, financial success.

“They couldn’t have known I’d put myself in a situation of abuse,” she said during a benefit on Saturday for Laura’s House, a San Clemente shelter for victims of domestic violence.

Truth was, she hardly realized it herself, said Kendall, who co-founded Laura’s House with good friend Sandy Condello in 1995.

“Until I got involved with the shelter and began to learn about domestic abuse, I wasn’t sure what healthy looked like,” Kendall said as she prepared to join 500 women for a luncheon at the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Dana Point. “I wasn’t being beaten--but I was being torn apart emotionally in my marriage.”

Like the women who seek help at Laura’s House--named for an Orange County victim of domestic abuse who died at age 38--Kendall began to learn about the cycle of abuse.

Using a self-examination tool that defines the characteristics of a healthy relationship (fairness, respect, nonthreatening behavior, shared responsibility) and those of an abusive one (intimidation, denial, blaming, threats), Kendall began to untangle her confusion about what was healthy and what was not.

“I also learned that I had choices and had to take responsibility for them,” she said. “Helping to found Laura’s House was an amazing experience for me; there I was, helping establish a refuge for abused women at the very time I was beginning to feel the pain and anguish of my own situation.”

She has learned her lessons well, said Kendall, a former resident of San Clemente who now lives in Seattle. She chose to leave her unhealthy marriage and has since remarried.

With its Walk-In Center and 18-bed shelter--”22 beds in a pinch,” said Condello, executive director of Laura’s House--the nonprofit organization has assisted thousands of women since it was founded five years ago.

“We have a 45-day program that consists of group and individual counseling, job training and parenting classes,” Condello said.

Laura’s House has launched a capital campaign to raise $5 million for a new transitional living center--a link between emergency housing and a permanent home--for victims of domestic violence and their children.

The proposed building will contain six one- and two-bedroom apartments, a community room, child-care center and offices.

For information: (949) 361-3775. Laura’s House 24-hour Crisis Hotline: (949) 498-1511.

Race for the Cure Reception

Self-examination is the most significant weapon women have against losing their lives to breast cancer, said Nancy Brinker, founder in 1980 of the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. “Most women discover their own breast cancer,” she said.

Brinker was among the hundreds of foundation supporters who attended a reception last week at the Newport Beach Marriott Hotel & Tennis Club. The event recognized organizers and underwriters of the ninth annual Race for the Cure, held Sunday in Newport Beach.

Sueanne Pacini of Newport Beach was honored at the reception for her volunteer work on behalf of the foundation’s Orange County chapter. She has served as chapter president and has twice chaired the Race for the Cure.

Guests cruised a buffet of turkey and the trimmings, and visited with Brinker, whose sister, Susan G. Komen, died of breast cancer in 1980 at age 36.

“Those times were very different,” said Brinker, who herself was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1985 and has undergone a mastectomy, chemotherapy and breast reconstruction. “In the early ‘80s, you didn’t say the words ‘breast cancer’ out loud. And there was no patient advocacy as we know it today.”

Times have changed dramatically, she said. “Today, breast cancer is very high on the national agenda.”

The foundation, which has chapters in 115 cities in the U.S., has raised more than $300 million since it was founded 20 years ago.

Net proceeds from the Race for the Cure were estimated at $1.5 million. Aletha Anderson was chairwoman.

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Ann Conway can be reached at (714) 966-5952 or by e-mail at ann.conway@latimes.com.