Ex-Teen to Current Ones: You’ll Be Fine

Dear Young Teenager,

If you’re around the ages of 13 or 14, please put down your homework for a couple minutes (algebra? Nathaniel Hawthorne?), take off your headsets (KROQ? KIIS?) and hear me out.

What I have to say is very important:

You are not doomed.

Let me repeat: You are not doomed.

There is actually a very good chance you’ll live a long and happy life.

I realize this may come as quite a shock. If you’ve been reading the papers or watching TV news, you’re probably wondering why you should even bother with your homework, given that you’re facing such peril from so many sources.

Trust me. Do your homework. Yes, the value of solving a quadratic equation may seem elusive at this stage of your life, but learn it anyway.

Someday you’ll be an adult, and you’ll understand why we grown-ups seem so intent on filling you with dire thoughts.

But take it from me, a former teenager: You’ll make it.

How dangerous is it to be a young teen?

No one knows better than you, but let me count the ways.

You’re in danger from the bombardment of overly violent or explicit video games, movies and TV shows. The relentless assault on your tender sensibilities is having both short- and long-term damage. My generation was told the same thing when we sneaked out to see a James Bond movie.

You’re in danger from the lyrics in popular music. Some of them are so crude and antisocial that you can’t help but be threatened by listening to them. If you need proof, look at your parents. Their parents told them the same thing.

You’re in danger from eating too much fast food and sweets. Various studies have warned teens about high cholesterol counts and its possible link to future heart disease. “You may be shipshape now, but the iceberg is out there,” a Boston doctor said recently while screening young teens at a local high school for high cholesterol.

You’re in danger from lazing around too much in front of the TV or computer terminal. A separate California study released this week said many overeating, lazy teens are heading into adulthood at greater risk of chronic health problems, even premature death.

You’ve been told you’re in danger when you hitch a ride with a teen-aged driver.

You’ve been told you’re in danger when you go to a rock or rap concert.

With a surprising number of you engaged in Internet-related commerce, you’re vulnerable. “Adults don’t take kids seriously and will take advantage of them, rip them off,” a financial consultant told The Times earlier this year.

Of course, that doesn’t include the criminally lecherous people who troll the Internet looking for you too.

You’re at risk if you play too many sports. A Times report earlier this year said the number of teens treated for overusing certain muscles has skyrocketed. A doctor said boys as young as middle-school age may be unusually susceptible to arthritis later in life.

You’ve been told you’re in danger from secondhand smoke from your parents.

And, most troubling, you’ve been told you’re in danger from over-the-edge classmates with access to guns or heavy metal CDs.

It’s a wonder you’re able to get up and face the world every morning. Given the multiple threats to your well-being, you may be the most courageous group of young people this country ever produced.

I’m only here to say that things will be all right.

I don’t mean to suggest life is risk-free. No one’s life has ever been. You should eat vegetables instead of French fries once in a while; you should make sure your friend actually knows how to drive before hopping into the car; you should use your head when it comes to Internet chat rooms.

But do one other thing: Enjoy being a teenager.

Your grandparents thought your parents were going to hell and look how perfectly they turned out. And your grandparents’ parents thought they were reckless.

OK, my two minutes are up. Return to your homework but, remember, don’t overdo it.

Spending too many hours on your homework could lead to--

Sorry.

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by calling (714) 966-7821 or by e-mail to dana.parsons@latimes.com.