What’s Up With the Catalog, Doc?
“Only in L.A. can a major university feature a cartoon on the cover of its catalog,” writes P. Chester Daley of Porter Ranch (see accompanying).
Maybe UCLA students will stop making jokes about all the Mickey Mouse courses offered at USC.
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WARNING--DO NOT EAT THIS ITEM: A reader sent me a copy of an amusing column that Washington Post columnist Bob Levey wrote about “label yarns”--nonsensical product warnings that get passed around on the Internet but aren’t for real.
Among the 18 he listed were:
* On a hotel’s shower-cap box: “Fits one head.”
* On many brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
* On packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.”
* On Nytol sleep aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
* On a tube of Crest toothpaste: “If swallowed, contact poison control.”
* On a hair dryer: “Do not use while sleeping.”
Levey concluded: “If it sounds too funny to be true, it probably isn’t.”
On the other hand . . .
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. . . UPON FURTHER INVESTIGATION: Some of Levey’s “label yarns” sounded familiar, so I did a bit of checking. My findings:
* I didn’t see a Nytol notation about drowsiness. But Tylenol’s Simply Sleep package says: “This product will cause drowsiness.” Rite Aid Fast Sleep and Unisom SleepTales have similar warnings.
* My tube of Crest says: “If you accidentally swallow more than used for brushing, seek professional help or contact a poison control center immediately.”
* And, finally, I came upon past testimony from several readers about the hair dryer warning. In fact, one who sent me a copy was Superior Court Judge Judith Chirlin.
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MORE EFFECTIVE THAN NYTOL: The last time I mentioned the warning about hair dryers, some readers told me that they turn them on when they go to bed in hotel rooms to muffle the outside noise.
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L.A. INSULT OF THE DAY: Seattle’s recent woes--an earthquake, the departures of Boeing and shortstop Alex Rodriguez, etc.--have prompted few get-well cards from the rest of the nation, observed novelist David Guterson, a Seattle-area resident. Rather, “there is perhaps some satisfaction that Seattle is getting its comeuppance,” he wrote in the New York Times.
Guterson said Seattle is attracting “the kind of hostility long reserved for Los Angeles. La-La Land and Latte Land now seem to be equal targets of ridicule.”
Don’t worry, Seattle. You’ll get used to it after a while.
Harvey’s e-mail: https://steve.harvey@latimes.com.