Child-Care Report Stirs Emotions

For some parents this was just the kind of news that added anxiety to an already hectic morning: a national study saying that the child you are about to drop off at day care may be more disobedient and aggressive in kindergarten the more time he spends in day care.

“I totally disagree,” said working mom Kimberly Killgore, 34. “Who did this study? I would not stay home based on this.”

For other parents, the findings from an expansive national study on the effects of child care was just the kind of news that brings joy to their hearts.

“Oh, it’s all so true,” said stay-at-home mom Sarah Green, who used to be a kindergarten and first-grade teacher. “You can’t deny the behavior patterns. We used to call them ‘the day-care kids’ because of the way they behaved.”

There are few topics that inflame passions, tug at the heart and provoke arguments as much as the issue of how we care for our children.

The release of the study on day care by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development ignited discussions and debate Thursday on the airwaves and in offices, schools and day-care centers.

At times, emotions flared as parents explained why their decisions about child care are the right ones, based on what’s best for their children.

Tensions rose, especially, between working and stay-at-home moms.

“This is just another bad rap for working moms. I’m not stressed about it because I have awesome day care,” said Reva Handa, 35, of Rancho Palos Verdes, whose two children spend time at Kids Klub in Pasadena.

“I know kids of stay-at-home moms who are totally clingy and can’t cope,” she said. “Maybe this study will help them feel better with their ‘I’m a martyr’ attitude,” she said. “My kids love day care. The hardest part of my day is getting them to go home.”

The government-sponsored study found that the more time children spent away from their mothers--whether in child care or under the care of nannies or relatives, even dads--the more aggression, disobedience and other behavioral problems they exhibited in kindergarten. These problems included everything from assertiveness to bullying and fighting.

The findings held true regardless of the family’s income or the children’s gender. However, most of the children’s behavior was considered to be within the range of normal.

The researchers--who even squabbled among themselves about the implications of their findings--could not say what caused the behavioral differences. One investigator said the stresses in the lives of working families could contribute to the problems, more than day care itself.

Richard Clifford, co-director of the National Center for Early Development and Learning at the University of North Carolina, said the findings should not necessarily be interpreted as a cause for alarm.

“I’m not sure this is all bad,” he said. “There are some advantages to children when they get to school [to] being somewhat more assertive.”

The research, the largest and most authoritative long-term survey of U.S. child care, followed more than 1,300 children in 10 cities.

At least one finding was welcomed by child-care advocates: Children who experienced high-quality day care performed better on language, knowledge and memory tests than did children who stayed home with their mothers or were enrolled in lower-quality child care.

“There are quite convincing findings that the quality of child care . . . has a positive association with a range of social and academic skills,” said Robert C. Pianta, an education professor at the University of Virginia and an investigator on the project.

Among professionals in child care and development, the study was viewed with caution. Several noted that the findings have not yet been reviewed by other experts.

But there is little gray area among mothers, an understandably defensive lot when it comes to their children.

“I’ve worked very hard, made a lot of sacrifices and went through a lot of education for my profession,” said Karen Darling, 36, a deputy attorney general for the state Department of Justice, whose 2-year-old and 9-month-old attend day care in the downtown Los Angeles building where she works.

“My husband and I could afford to have me stay at home. But it’s not just a job, it’s a career,” said Darling, who lives in Pasadena.

She said she was upset because the study’s findings could influence mothers to give up their careers.

“I don’t think there’s any detriment to [the children] because I work,” she said.

Carol Boyd, 40, also a deputy attorney general, said her 6-year-old daughter, Natasha, attended child care as an infant and toddler and is excelling in kindergarten.

Boyd, of Los Angeles, said that, financially, she has no choice but to work.

“I don’t think a working mother needs any more societal guilt put on her for working,” she said. “Often it’s an economic necessity.”

Killgore, a full-time executive assistant at Earthlink in Pasadena, said the lives of her 16-month-old and 10-week-old daughters are enriched by their day-care environment.

“I build a bond with my children at night and on weekends. I come and see them at lunch,” she said. “It’s not possible for me to stay home. But I feel confident I am doing the right thing.”

Dee Ruiz, 27, of Monterey Park, who has infant twin girls in child care, was troubled by the study’s findings--but for the opposite reason. She wants to stay at home and worries about future behavior problems. But she has to help support her family.

“There is this implication that working mothers are not good mothers and that is frustrating,” she said.

For Tammy Walton, 36, of South Pasadena the study results provided an important validation. “The bonding that I have with my children at home is going to last a lifetime,” said Walton, who took two of her four children to library hour.

“When parents are not there, children cry” because of unmet needs, she explained. “A care-giver can’t always meet those needs and that’s when there are problems.”

Lori Berg, a Newport Beach mother who gave up her career as a corporate lawyer to raise her children, said the study just proves something she has known for a long time: Society makes it very hard for women to balance careers with children.

“I graduated from college with the feminist belief that women could have it all and do it all,” she said, laughing. “I really believed that.”

For a year she struggled with the feeling that she was cheating both her job and her family. She decided to quit her job. Now, her surgeon husband supports the family.

Though the first few years home from work were difficult, she said she is happy with the decision.

“I definitely think it’s a trade-off,” she said. “I gave up something that was personally very important to me, but I don’t regret the decision.”

Joan Lombardi, a child- and family-policy specialist who once headed the child-care bureau of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, said the survey could serve as a much needed wake-up call.

At a time when many parents work out of economic necessity, not choice, and three out of every five children are in child care, she said, “the country has to pay attention to the quality of care.”

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Times staff writers Jessica Garrison, Noaki Schwartz and Erika Hayasaki and researcher Maloy Moore contributed to this story.