Life of Riley Doesn’t Have the Same Ring

Michael Wilbon of the Washington Post commenting on Miami Heat Coach Pat Riley, whose team was swept out of the playoffs by the Charlotte Hornets:

“Poking Riley is just kicking another guy who’s down. Three straight years he’s been booted out of the playoffs in the first round. Riley’s now Lenny Wilkens, a guy who coached champions a long, long time ago.

“Those Laker rings are a little rusty, aren’t they?”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NBA playoff record for fewest minutes played before fouling out?

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Quiz time: A question from the Wonderlic Personnel test, an IQ exam given by the NFL to draft-eligible players:

A dealer bought some televisions for $3,500. He sold them for $5,500, making $50 on each television. How many televisions were involved? Answer below--don’t peek.

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Nobody had the nerve: From the Gallery column of the San Diego Union-Tribune: “The crown prince of Dubai won a 62-mile horse race across the Egyptian desert Saturday, the second straight year he finished first in the competition.

“The prince wore spurs, even though they were banned months before the race by the world equestrian federation. The federation dropped its investigation because nobody filed a complaint.”

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Reasonable request: Bud Geracie in the San Jose Mercury News: “Spanish tennis star Alex Moron asks that you pronounce the name in his native tongue.”

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Success by subtraction: Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post, commenting on the Seattle Mariners: “Just as we figured. Things aren’t the same since Alex Rodriguez left. I’m thinking if they can unload Edgar Martinez and John Olerud, they may have the division wrapped up by Memorial Day.

* “And we quote comedian George Carlin: ‘If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?’ ”

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Monkeys, start your engines: Niki Lauda is fed up with all the electronic gadgetry in Formula One racing. The technology was on display at the Spanish Grand Prix in Barcelona--traction control, electronic starting and fully automatic gearboxes.

“Today a monkey could drive a F1 car,” Lauda said. “Although, I don’t know how fast he could drive it.”

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Quiz answer: 40.

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Trivia answer: Travis Knight of the Lakers, six, against San Antonio on May 23, 1999.

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And finally: Blackie Sherrod in the Dallas Morning News: “What a difference a generation makes. When Bob Griese quarterbacked the Dolphins in the ‘70s, his last contract was for $425,000, tops in the NFL.

“Now his son Brian just signed a new Denver pact for 15 times more. Let’s see Alan Greenspan do something about that!”