A Deep Freeze Hits L.A.

Rising above last week’s baseball meetings like a cool breeze above steaming wreckage, the Dodgers’ best hope for the 2002 season has finally and clearly emerged:

A work stoppage.

If the players strike, we don’t have to watch the Dodger leadoff hitters strike out.

If the owners close their doors, we won’t have to stomach the Dodger closers.

If Donald Fehr yaps, we won’t hear Gary Sheffield.

If Bud Selig appears every fifth day, Terry Mulholland won’t.

It’s a simple idea, born of a complicated mess created by a new front office that, if not careful, could make Kevin Malone look like Branch Rickey.

What’s embarrassing is how much sense the idea makes.

If the Dodgers don’t play, then the Dodgers can’t lose.

I pulled Ross Newhan down from his wall at Cooperstown this week and asked him for the no-bull odds on baseball’s actually shutting down because of an expired labor contract.

Our baseball guru said 70%.

I said, “Thank you.”

I know, I know, this attitude is so unseasonable. But then, so are the Dodgers.

They used to embrace this final week before the holiday break. It was traditionally when they would make their best moves of the winter, hoping to give potential ticket holders one more gift idea. Heck, Peter O’Malley even used to invite Santa Claus to the news conferences.

This year, this week, if they call a news conference, it could only mean one thing.

“Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the Dodgers newest acquisition ... coal.”

You don’t believe they’ve been that naughty? Let’s check their list twice.

No closer.

No center fielder.

No leadoff hitter.

No depth in the starting rotation.

One seething left fielder.

Meanwhile, here’s what’s happening in other towns.

The Oakland Athletics need a closer, they trade for Billy Koch.

The New York Mets need a leadoff hitter, they sign Roger Cedeno.

The Mets need depth in their pitching rotation, they trade for Shawn Estes.

That clomping sound you hear is baseball’s annual winter parade, passing the Dodgers at a record pace.

That odor you smell is ... Well, the Dodgers are already at the rear of the parade, broom in hand.

At this point, lacking funds to make the big signings (Johnny Damon) or the prospects to make a big trade (Darin Erstad or Troy Percival), how can they hope to do anything but scoop up the leftovers?

It’s not that rookie General Manager Dan Evans isn’t trying.

In fact, even old-time Dodger folks acknowledge that his work ethic is unsurpassed.

He meets with everyone. He lives with scouting reports.

Since arriving here last summer, he has hired an entire new staff that didn’t get together for the first time until last week’s meetings in Boston.

The Dodger offices close Friday for the holidays, but Evans says he’s just getting started.

“I’m not taking two weeks off, no way,” he said Tuesday. “We are continuing conversations and negotiations. We are not done at all. Not whatsoever.”

Yet, at times, perhaps, he’s been trying too hard.

The Dodgers had, in place, a trade that would have solved their main problems.

Gary Sheffield, Luke Prokopec and Mike Trombley to the Athletics for Jermaine Dye and Koch.

A perfect trade. Made sense for everybody. Made too much sense for the skittish Dodgers.

Evans asked the A’s for another pitching prospect. They refused.

Evans immediately traded Prokopec to Toronto for middle reliever Paul Quantrill and untested shortstop Cesar Izturis.

The A’s countered by getting David Justice from the Mets, filling their need for a power-hitting outfielder.

Game, set, match to Oakland.

Now, the Dodgers probably can’t trade Sheffield.

And having already dealt their most attractive pitching prospect, they might not have the goods to acquire a closer, either.

Both issues have the potential to turn the clubhouse into a Cleveland Browns Stadium end zone.

“The trade of Prokopec had to be made,” Evans said. “We filled two middle-of-the-diamond needs. We got one of the better set-up guys in the game and a kid who our scouts say could be a great shortstop.”

But at what price?

Sheffield doesn’t want to be here. No matter how much agent Scott Boras has calmed him this winter--and I must admit, Boras has been a magician--Sheffield doesn’t want to be here.

He is still angry at Manager Jim Tracy for moving him down in the batting order, from the third spot to cleanup, in the middle of the season.

Tracy thought that, by batting ahead of Sheffield, Shawn Green could get started. Tracy was right.

But Sheffield, who takes pride in being one of baseball’s best hitters in its traditionally best batting slot, felt slighted.

Sheffield is also not too pleased with Green, whom he sees as the organization’s fair-haired boy.

And now he reads that they are desperately trying to trade him?

I wrote earlier that this trade was necessary. Now, it’s absolutely imperative.

Either that, or the quaint Dodgertown souvenir shop needs to order a shipment of flak jackets.

“Gary has made it known publicly that he wants to be a Dodger, and I believe him,” Evans said. “I’m not shopping him. I trust that this spring, he will be ready to play.”

As for the Dodger closer, I’ve lately been hearing two scary words:

Matt Herges.

Do they really want to take their most dependable middle reliever and subject his already flaky arm to more sporadic work?

I’ve heard two other scary words.

Ugueth Urbina.

The only way this guy is available is if the Boston Red Sox are interested in--are you sitting down?--Jeff Shaw.

As nightmares go, this one has come full circle.

“The closer needs to be addressed, but we have a long way to go,” Evans said. “By the start of spring training, we will have one.”

Somebody call me if you see Steve Howe hanging around. Better yet, don’t.

At least we know one person thinks the Dodgers have been a smashing success. That would be owner Rupert Murdoch, who finally admitted recently on national television that he bought the team only because he wanted it to fuel a new sports TV network that would keep Disney from entering the market.

In the form of Fox Sports Net 2, he has claimed victory, the sentimental old fool.

So, now, it seems natural that Murdoch would want to sell the team.

One can only hope.

If so, then we should applaud the recent Dodger moves, because nothing moves faster in this town than a good teardown.

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Bill Plaschke can be reached at bill.plaschke@latimes.com.

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TUESDAY’S DEVELOPMENTS

* St. Louis: Signed first baseman Tino Martinez to a three-year contract.

* Colorado: Acquired second baseman Pokey Reese in a trade with Cincinnati.

* Kansas City: Signed free-agent infielder-outfielder Chuck Knoblauch.

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Around the Majors, D6

Change that dial: Dodgers will be switching from radio station KXTA after next season, and they might be moving to KFWB. D6