School Has No Legitimate Reason to Call Her Son Names, Proud Mom Says

An irate woman called sheriff’s deputies to complain that her son had been branded “illiterate” at his school.

Absolutely untrue, she said. As proof, according to Star News, a Sheriff’s Department publication, the woman pointed out that she had “got married a week before he was born.”

They don’t get the message: T-shirts bearing irreverent slogans are, of course, common--so common that some people wear them without noticing the unintended negative impressions they might give to authorities.

Mike Ascolese’s column in Star News has showcased booking photos of suspects wearing shirts that said, “It Wasn’t Me,” “Fugitive (You Never Saw Me),” “Thai Stick,” “Intelligent Hoodlum” and--this displayed by a convicted auto thief--”Life’s Too Short for Traffic.”

Then there was the shirt worn in a courtroom by a defendant who also lost his case. It said: “I’m lying!”

Leave it to the Clippers: L.A.’s perennially losing basketball team has been enjoying more success this year, but it flunked the spelling of a word on a soft drink cup that’s synonymous with higher education (see photo).

Be forewarned: In Oregon, Bonnie and Tim Callahan of Altadena noticed a place that will give you gas (see photo).

Proof it can happen to anyone: Thomas Wall of Rancho Palos Verdes saw a notice on KFWB’s Web site that L.A. Police Chief Bernard Parks was a few minutes late for his “Ask the Chief” call-in radio show the other day.

Reason: traffic problems.

Parks and parking: This wasn’t the first time that a visit to KFWB resulted in a bit of an adventure for the chief.

Two years ago, while he was in the Sunset Boulevard studio, a station employee noticed that a traffic officer was writing a ticket for Parks’ unmarked car, which was parked at an expired meter on the street. The employee informed the officer whose car it was. “Well, it does look like an official car,” the officer acknowledged. Ticket dismissed.

Asked about it later, Parks said that the meter was broken.

Tender telemarketers: I recently mentioned a surprising report of a phone solicitor who seemed sensitive. Well, Katharina Smith of Canoga Park writes that she received a call from a solicitor and “as I always do, I said a polite ‘No, thank you’ and hung up.”

Less than a minute later, the telephone rang again. The same voice said, “That was so rude. How come you hung up on me?”

Smith was so touched by his pain that she offered an explanation. “Same reason I am doing it now,” she said. Then she hung up again.

miscelLAny:

Marilyn and Lizzie Stein of Pacific Palisades thought there might be cause for alarm when they saw two uniformed police officers huddling outside Tiffany’s jewelry store in Beverly Hills on Thursday. Then they looked closer and saw that one of the officers had a Tiffany’s bag. Hey, it’s no crime to shop on your lunch hour.

Besides, I admire anyone who begins Christmas shopping at this early date (early for me, anyway).

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.