Tears Flow at This Christmastime Gathering

Debbie McCart’s father and mother both died--10 years apart--within three days of Christmas. Since then, grief has been as much a part of her holiday as Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus.

“When I hear my first Christmas carol is when I start to feel sad,” she said.

McCart, along with two dozen others, sought solace from their holiday depression at a somber but comforting “Blue Christmas” service in Garden Grove on Thursday evening.

The service at the United Methodist Church of Garden Grove was one of a small number of church observances across the country designed for troubled souls whose grief, illnesses, family quarrels, job losses and financial problems are magnified by the holidays.

“The Blue Christmas service provides an opportunity to be honest about what you’re feeling,” said Jon Waterson, the church’s youth ministries coordinator who organized this year’s service. “When you show up, you’re acknowledging something is amiss, something is broken. It’s a very honest service.”

In the church’s chapel, the pastors offered simple meditations, prayers, scripture readings and songs that were meant to instill hope that God was present, even in the darkness. The congregants, many sitting by themselves, wiped away tears throughout the service.

“We talk poetically about the Christmas spirit but shun anyone who can’t seem to find it, and offer little or no redemptive solution to those who are struggling,” said Waterson in his sermon. “. . . God’s love is present in a church where we can come and share our brokenness.”

There are no statistics on the number of people affected by holiday blues, said officials with the National Mental Health Assn. in Virginia. But they also said that this year has been especially difficult because of uncertainty caused by the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.

“Norman Rockwell, Hallmark, Martha Stewart--put all three together, and it’s hard to be that perfect,” said Kathy HoganBruen, senior director of prevention at the association. “There are so many things that can be disappointing during the holiday season.”

The fewer hours of sunlight in the winter months also can cause a depression called seasonal affective disorder that adds to the Christmas blues, mental health officials said.

At a reception after the Garden Grove service, parishioners hugged, laughed and cried together while drinking hot cider and eating homemade fudge.

Sandy Todd, 53, said she came to the service because financial problems, family discord, and an anxiety disorder had made Christmas a difficult time for her.

“I dread Christmas because I don’t know what’s going to happen next,” she said, adding that the service gave her some relief.

“Everybody needs a booster shot, and that’s what I got,” she said. “I need to be with people who are spiritual and who care.”

HoganBruen said the church service works because both spirituality and emotional openness have been proven to ease depression.

“It’s refreshing and reassuring to people to see others who are not so happy and jolly,” she said. “There aren’t too many places you can go and openly voice your concerns about the holidays.”

The origins of the Blue Christmas, or Longest Night, service are murky. Garden Grove church officials say they got the idea a few years ago from a Methodist pastor “somewhere in New England.”

It’s a tradition that the Rev. Erika Gara of the Garden Grove church said she plans to continue. She thanked the congregants for attending the service, telling them that they were allowing others “to experience an authentic Christmas.”