LAUGH LINES

New Gig: “According to the New York Observer, former Vice President Al Gore has accepted a job at the Columbia School of Journalism. . . . Apparently, the journalism school there has hired Gore as a podium.” (Conan O’Brien)

Toning It Down: “All the New York papers are gossiping. . . . They say now that since Hillary Rodham Clinton is a senator, she has stopped wearing makeup and nail polish. She stopped having her hair done. She’s also wearing less fashionable clothes. . . . Isn’t she worried that maybe her husband will lose interest? . . . I hope this doesn’t give Bill a wandering eye.” (Jay Leno)

Looking for Life: “NASA says the Mars Global Surveyor is close to finishing its mission. . . . The craft has been snapping pictures there since 1999. . . . Scientists want to know if there’s life on Mars--and if there is, if Jesse Jackson is the father.” (Argus Hamilton)

For a Little More Drama: “According to the Hollywood Reporter, Regis Philbin is about to announce Kelly Ripa of ‘All My Children’ as his new co-host. You’d think Kathie Lee’s life had provided enough soap opera for Regis.” (Daily Scoop)

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