The Bright Side of Those Blackouts

I can’t think of any benefit from a rolling blackout here, except that it might silence those Cal Fed ads that say, “You have more power than you think.”

SUCH A DEAL: Today’s collection of unusual offers (see accompanying) includes a pricey quarter-pounder (imagine how much it would be without the coupon), a delivery job proposal that doesn’t hold much water (submitted by Charles Supple), and a modest discount for a pillowcase (Mary and Bill Hawk).

Then there’s the plea from a panhandler who was apparently unaware of how much change people carry in their pockets (see photo).

Incidentally, I apologize to the person who took the picture; I lost your name. As a panhandler of column items, I hate to antagonize any contributors.

YOU CAN’T EVEN SMOKE IT: “It used to be that when someone asked about the street value of grass, we knew what they meant,” wrote the editors of the city of Paramount’s monthly newsletter. “Now we have to ask, ‘The kind you smoke, or the kind you mow?’ ”

They were referring to the theft of several rectangles of sod from a newly landscaped restaurant site.

BANKING ON THAT CROSS-TOWN RIVALRY: David Iantorno of Long Beach saw a Sprint billboard near USC that bragged about the company’s clear service out “in the boonies, like Westwood.”

STUPID DRIVER TRICKS: And they don’t get much stupider than this. Paul Young spotted a van driver who “was holding a 3- to 4-year-old kid up to the driver’s window and the kid was urinating out. The man was laughing about it, but the kid didn’t look too happy.”

DIFFERENT KIND OF BOARD MEETING: So what professions are making waves these days? Well, Jeff Bliss saw a SRFNCPA license plate on a local road. The DMV database also lists SRFNDDS, SRFNDOC, SRFNESQ, SRFNLAW, SRFNPHD, as well as SURFDJ.

NOT SO FAST! You readers are my guerrilla copy editors, notifying me of mistakes everywhere, bless you. But occasionally you fire off e-mails prematurely. Six people messaged me immediately after reading a newspaper excerpt in this space that listed Neil Simon as the performer of “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.” And I do mean “immediately.” The next paragraph of my item pointed out that the singer was actually Paul.

ONE HUNDRED YEARS AGO: A stalled horse-drawn wagon backed up traffic on Spring Street for more than three blocks on Feb. 18, 1901. It was a Monday just after 6 p.m.--”the hour when traffic is heavy downtown,” The Times noted.

A wheel was wedged in a rut between the pavement and a train rail. Onlookers freed the wheel with a jack but still the driver refused to move.

Then, “a waiter in a nearby saloon pushed through the crowd with a filled glass in his hand and passed it up to the obstinate man,” the newspaper said. The driver gulped down the spirits, whipped up his team and was gone.

miscelLAny:

Author John Morgan Wilson of West Hollywood spotted a car dealer’s billboard that said: “Proudly Serving the Westside Since 1999.” (Well, that was last century).

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.