Football Needs Rehab Centers for Coaches

Mike Lupica in the New York Daily News: “Bill Parcells walked away from the Jets, and you want to say he walked away from football for good, except that he is a coach and even the greatest coach of them all, Vince Lombardi, somehow found his way back to the sidelines.

“Lombardi retired from the Packers, came back with the Redskins, coached one more season. He only stopped because he was dying. . . . Now Dick Vermeil, who walked away from a Super Bowl team less than a year ago, saying he wanted to spend more time with his family, is . . . on his way to Kansas City.

“It means Vermeil is like all the rest of them. ‘Coaching is a drug,’ Parcells said the other day. ‘A narcotic.’ ”

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Trivia time: Who holds the Pacific 10 Conference record for free throw percentage in a season?

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Familiar journey: Bernie Lincicome in the Rocky Mountain News: “Here’s my best guess. Rick Pitino will be the next coach at Indiana. Maybe UCLA. He might stop at UNLV first, depending on the size of the limo.

“You see Pitino on the Larry Brown local, a hired gun and then a tired gun.

“Pitino is a big-time guy who needs a big-time program, and no basketball program was bigger than the Celtics, and if it’s not true any more, it is because Pitino reduced the Celtic cachet to soot.”

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Make-over: Ron Rapoport in the Chicago Sun-Times, on the new image of the Oakland Raiders: “[They] have no superstars, no real trash-talkers, no individuals near the top of any NFL statistical categories and a young, gung-ho coach with a college rah-rah approach.

“The Raiders? Quiet, methodical and respectable? Say it isn’t so.”

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Waste of time: https://MSNBCSports.com is running a poll until inauguration day. The question: “Which mascot would make the best president of the United States?”

The Chicken, which is listed on the site as the Padres’ mascot, is leading with 26% of the vote. The Phillie Phanatic is second at 17%, and the Phoenix Suns’ Gorilla third at 13%.

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Mesmerizing: Washington Capital center Adam Oates, on playing against Mario Lemieux: “You can see it in the defenders’ eyes. Mario makes guys turn into jellyfish. You’re so in awe of him, you don’t play your normal game.”

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More Mario: From Alan Hahn in Newsday: “What Mark McGwire did for baseball and Tiger Woods did for golf, Mario Lemieux is now doing for hockey. Whether it’s thumbing through a newspaper, clicking to https://ESPN.com or paying closer attention to the sports highlights, everyone wants to know: What did Mario do last night?”

“ ‘There’s no doubt if you’re talking on a national level,” former NHL star Mike Bossy said, “that because of the Mario scenario you’re going to find the NHL on the first page of the sports section instead of the second page.’ ”

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One-dimensional: Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune: “Vince Carter says he might not defend his slam-dunk title at the All-Star game. From what I’ve seen, he doesn’t defend much of anything.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1969, New York Jet quarterback Joe Namath guaranteed a victory before the Super Bowl game against the 17-point favorite Baltimore Colts, then led the Jets to a 16-7 victory.

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Trivia answer: Rod Foster of UCLA, 95% in 1981-82.

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And finally: Tony Siragusa, the Baltimore Ravens’ 340-pound defensive tackle, when asked about playing in front of Raider fans on Sunday:

“I’m looking to take my helmet off, put a big bull’s-eye on my head, see if I can catch a couple bottles of gin coming at me. Maybe I can drink it after the game.

“If I come back in the next life, I want to come back as a Raider fan. These people are crazy sickos, and and I love it.”