Plenty of Police Backup for This

Dan Huston, an 80-year-old writer who has lived in Laguna Beach for four decades, owns a police scanner and says, “I can’t get over all the reports of nudity.”

The other day he heard a dispatcher say, “I see London, I see France, we have ladies in their underpants--north end Heisler Park.” Huston said three police units from Laguna Beach responded, and there was “an offer of mutual aid from Dana Point.”

On another occasion Huston heard a dispatcher say, “Nude male hitchhiker disrupting traffic on LCR [Laguna Canyon Road] near Big Bend.” An officer replied: “Can you give me a description?”

Concluded Huston: “I guess it was a busy morning for nude hitchhikers.”

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MEANWHILE, THERE’S BEEN NO BREAK IN THIS CASE: C.A. DeLay of Twentynine Palms came upon the following in a local newspaper:

“Malicious Mischief Report, 73000 block of Sun Valley Drive, 4:34 p.m. Unknown subject stole fruit from tree last night, fled in unknown direction.”

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LOCATED BEHIND TIN PAN ALLEY: Hugh and Anne Dana Lanktree of L.A. found a place where bad songs are buried (see accompanying).

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SPEAKING OF THE UNDERWORLD: After seeing the sign in the snapshot from Judy Carr of Santa Monica, I’m relieved that the only thing that will get taken for a drive is the vehicle (see photo).

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ON THE ROAD: Capping today’s eerie visual display, Kirk Lindamood noticed something strange about one category in the San Luis Obispo County phone book (see accompanying).

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NO SOONER HAD HE THROWN IT INTO THE RING . . . Joe Shea, one of 24 Angelenos seeking the mayor’s job, attended a training session for the candidates held by the city Ethics Commission at the L.A. Central Library. Shea later discovered that he had left behind his hat. He found it at Lost and Found and a librarian said one of the other candidates had turned it in. Hey, that ethics training is paying off!

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STUPID DRIVER TRICKS: “I turned onto Sunset in Brentwood and noticed that the car in front of me was moving, but facing the wrong direction,” wrote Wendy Mollett of Studio City.

“The driver had his head out the window (on my right side) to navigate. I guessed that his gear was stuck in reverse and he was going for repairs, but we passed two gas stations. All the while, he had a passenger who was facing me--looking very nonchalant.”

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SINGULAR REPUTATION: “When I was still living in southern Oregon, I saw a fellow driving down the road playing the guitar,” wrote Rita Downs of Redlands. “It only made sense when I saw his license plate was from California. Of course, this was not too long after I saw a car with a lone male driver, with a big sign saying, ‘Just Married’--also from California.”

miscelLAny:

In the “Blast Stupid Drivers” section of the LAinsider.com guide, one commuter suggested that people take snapshots of motorists multi-tasking behind the wheel and post them on that Internet site. Almost immediately, another driver wrote in to say that if he were photographed, he would sue. The latter didn’t say if he was a driving guitarist, trumpeter or book reader.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.