Single Dads Tighten Belts
Being a good single dad means more than becoming a nurturer, a cook or the family hair stylist. In Southern California, it may mean finding a good roommate.
Single-father households are the fastest-growing type of family in Orange County and nationwide--and, as with households headed by single mothers, finances are frequently tight.
In a region with an average rent around $1,100 and a 3% vacancy rate, that often means sharing housing--often with other single parents.
Fullerton resident and single father James McCall divided up his home to rent out rooms so he could make mortgage payments. The 47-year-old construction equipment rental representative rents out one bedroom to a single mother with three children. McCall’s adult daughter and her husband rent an enclosed patio. That leaves three remaining bedrooms for McCall and his 13-year-old son and 15-year-old daughter.
“I have to scramble to make ends meet,” said McCall, who divorced seven years ago.
The number of single-father households in Orange County has increased 43.9% since 1990; that’s low compared with the national growth of 61.8%, to 2.2 million.
During the same time, the number of single-mother households in Orange County increased by 28.9%, and married couples with children, 22.9%.
Rudy Garcia, founder of Dana Point-based Sole Support, a group for single parents, began a shared-housing program in 1998. Since then, he has matched 2,000 families. “On any given day, we have 50 single parents looking for a roommate in Orange County,” Garcia said. “Some of the stories just blow your mind. The parents are feeling hopeless. The common line we get is: ‘The moment I say I have kids, [landlords] say, “We don’t take kids.” ’ “
Paul Kaiser, 32, divorced four months ago and immediately had to leave his $1,100-a-month apartment in Tustin because he couldn’t afford it on his salary as a yacht upholsterer. He’s living at his mother’s house with his children, ages 11 and 13, but says he’s looking to share housing.
“I think it’s the only way I can afford to stay in the area,” said Kaiser, who would like his children to remain at their school.
In most Orange County cities, single-father families make up close to 6% of all households with children.
Newport Beach attorney Michael Brennan, author of “Custody for Fathers,” said judges have become more comfortable giving custody to fathers but are still too leery. In an expensive area like Orange County, he added, “For the average blue collar person, no matter which they go with, there’s going to be financial suffering.”
Single mothers also struggle because of the area’s tight housing market, said Marcella Barba, communications coordinator at Second Harvest Food Bank. A 1990s study by the organization showed that two-thirds of pantry and soup kitchen clients were single parents.
Among the first problems is child care, many say. In Orange County, child care for infants younger than 2 can easily cost $600 a month, said Susan Edwards, director of Project Self Sufficiency, which helps low-income single parents get on their feet. That means monthly child support payments of $1,000 would not even cover day care for two infants, she said.
Michelle Martinez, 32, works as a receptionist at a tire dealership. Without help from her sister and roommate, the Costa Mesa woman doesn’t know how she would care for her children, ages 6 and 7, when they leave school. Her sister works nights, when Martinez arrives home and cares for her sister’s children, ages 10 and 15.
“It’s a jungle out there. If you are a single parent, you need to make a network and cultivate it,” Martinez said.
Like Edwards, Garcia believes society needs to be more accepting of single parents. He noted that few Orange County churches have single-parent ministries, for example.
“We should even get rid of the term ‘single parent.’ We should talk about two-home families. We need to see this as something positive for our children to feel normal. We have to see that our children have a large circle of love around them,” Garcia said. “And that’s true even if our homes are smaller because of the housing costs.”
