How to Gently Nudge Reluctant Sellers
A retired couple were selling their three-level house with extreme reluctance. The husband cherished the home but was too ill to take care of it. He and his wife felt their best option was to leave California and move close to a grown son in Colorado.
The couple went through the motions of selling their home--hiring an agent and putting out a for-sale sign. But their heart wasn’t in it. They were resistant to showing the house and used the tiniest flaws in offers as excuses to rebuff them.
Yet a couple in their 20s--who were captivated with the home and its lushly wooded setting--were determined to get the sellers to say yes to their overture, recalls Julia Mulligan, a Century 21 broker in San Diego who represented the young couple.
Mulligan quickly realized that the sellers were clinging to the home for sentimental reasons. They had raised three children there and didn’t want to part with a place filled with decades of happy memories. She recognized that a soft touch would be necessary to bring the sellers around.
Hoping to lower the couple’s resistance, Mulligan took the unusual step of arranging for the buyers to appear at the home when the agent presented their offer. The buyers were a personable couple--he was a teacher and she a physical therapist. The sellers were moved by the warmth and genuine fondness the visitors showed for their property. Soon the deal was struck.
“The owners were very unhappy about moving. But they just loved the buyers--who were the same age as their children--and felt reassured they would take good care of the home. They even threw in the washer and dryer, which wasn’t supposed to be part of the deal,” Mulligan recalls.
One widely held rule in real estate sales is that buyers and sellers shouldn’t talk directly to one another. The concern is that personal animosity could sour a deal.
Yet like much of real estate doctrine, this rule is not ironclad. Because the sale of a family home is a wrenching experience for some, it can be reassuring to the sellers to know that their property will be in good hands after it’s sold. In such cases, direct personal contact can help, not hinder. Still, Monte Helme, the co-owner of Creative Resources, an Internet-related real estate firm in Fallbrook, cautions that there are certain circumstances when reluctant sellers and would-be buyers should absolutely not have personal contact.
His advice to buyers: “Don’t try to get friendly with sellers who must move due to divorce or financial duress. You’re only going to make them mad. They’re going to feel like they’re being forced out.”
Here are three suggestions for dealing with hesitant home sellers:
* Create a financial incentive to move.
Even when people are making a positive transition such as a job transfer for a promotion, they may require a gentle nudge to let go of a house where they’ve lived for a decade or longer, Helme said.
“There’s usually a tradeoff involved in any move--if only a fear of the unknown,” said Helme.
If the sellers of a home you’re eager to buy convey ambivalence about moving, you might add to the price--perhaps a couple of thousand dollars--if your first offer is turned down, he said.
“What you’re trying to do is create an incentive to put the seller on the same timetable as you,” Helme said.
Of course, it’s nearly always imprudent to go substantially over the market value of a home.
Mulligan cautions against paying more than 3% over a home’s value simply to lure a reluctant seller into a transaction. One hazard of paying too much is that your plans to finance the purchase could be scuttled if your mortgage lender says the home is not worth as much as you’ve agreed to pay.
* Don’t be an overbearing buyer in dealing with an unhappy seller.
After your offer is accepted, you may wish to visit your future home to measure for draperies or to bring in a contractor to discuss kitchen remodeling.
But unless carefully handled, such visits could be treated as unwelcome intrusions by a seller suffering from home withdrawal. This is especially true if there are comments implying a critique of the decor or condition of the property, Helme said.
Perhaps your offer has been signed by the sellers. Until you have taken possession, be circumspect about visiting the place.
* Consider helping an overwhelmed seller.
Sometimes sellers--especially elderly people who must downsize--are overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of culling through their belongings in preparation for a move. The sorting process is not only a physical but an emotional ordeal because many items tug at heartstrings.
In such circumstances, some sellers may balk at closing a deal. But on occasion a buyer can rescue an endangered transaction by taking the unconventional step of assisting the seller with moving.
Longtime owners, especially those with no nearby relatives to help out, may be enormously grateful to a buyer who pitches in, Helme said.
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Ellen James Martin is a syndicated columnist. She can be reached via e-mail at ellenjamesmartin@aol.com. However, she cannot answer readers’ questions individually.
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Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.
