So What Does ‘I Love L.A.’ Have to Do to Get on 100-Best L.A. Songs List?

Randy Newman’s “I Love L.A.” didn’t make the list of “L.A.’s 100 Greatest Songs” in the November issue of L.A. magazine.

But “Moonlight in Vermont” did, as well as “Harlem Nocturne,” “Muleskinner Blues,” “Ode to Billie Joe” and “Sixteen Tons.”

Sure, L.A. has been described as “sprawling” but isn’t this taking the stereotype to extremes?

Given L.A.’s well-publicized search for an official city song over the last quarter-century, I figured the magazine was holding a new competition.

But the list actually consists of songs that were recorded in L.A. but aren’t necessarily about L.A.

I’m happy to report, though, that the magazine did include “MacArthur Park” (1968), bringing to mind those immortal lyrics rasped out by Richard Harris:

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark/ All the sweet green icing flowing down/ Someone left the cake out in the rain/ I don’t think that I can take it. . . .

Hey--quit your moaning! I’m not going to sing the whole thing.

Rhapsodizing about L.A.’s innards: Not sure whether L.A. magazine’s tribute to “MacArthur Park” was a joke. But its inclusion did remind me of the time in the early 1980s when mischievous radio personalities Ken Minyard and Bob Arthur (on once-listenable KABC radio) staged a parody of the city’s quest for an official anthem. The performers that day crooned such tender lyrics as:

* “I love your big brown skies. . . . “

* “Los Angeles, Los Angeles/Only 400 miles from San Francisco, only 2,023 from Chicago. . . . “--”Her river’s lined with concrete. . . . “

* “Hold your head up high/But if you do, the smog gets in your eye. . . . “

* “Some may boast about Minnesota and all of its beautiful lakes/But how can you compare Minnesota to L.A. and its charming earthquakes?”

And, finally:

* “I left my liver in the L.A. River. . . . “

They had T-shirts back then? Libby Lent saw an ad for a piece of patriotic clothing that dated back to a time when the United States consisted of just 24 states (see accompanying).

On the road: In Wyoming, L.A. newspaper columnist Will Rogers snapped a shot of a city limits warning (see photo). He didn’t say whether he met any of the soreheads.

Two legs aren’t better than one: Seems as though when I was in school, principals mostly worried about kids’ outfits that showed too much skin. Now, the students can wear too much clothing.

Merrit Lancaster of Rossmoor, a sixth-grader, brought home a set of rules that included the following:

“Pants and shorts must stay up without a belt. . . . Pants that are unacceptably large at the waist, hang down far enough to cause a hazard to walking or running or are excessively baggy (two legs can fit in one pant leg) should not be worn to school.”

Obviously, young Lancaster’s parents wouldn’t want to use the washer that Skip Schenkel of L.A. noticed in an ad (see accompanying).

miscelLAny:

Considering the history of seismic activity in this area, I guess no one should be surprised that the L.A. Galaxy was flattened the other day by a team called the San Jose Earthquakes in the Major League Soccer championship game. Thereby breaking local fans’ livers, I mean, hearts.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.