LAUGH LINES

Hairy Ordeal: “Have you seen these ads for new extra-strength Rogaine? They say it’s twice as strong as the original, although they warn it can cause irritation. Especially after four months and you realize this isn’t working either. You get really irritated.” (Jay Leno)

Hard Habit to Break: “The New York Post claims that Hillary Clinton has voted against more of President Bush’s nominations than any other senator. When asked about it, Hillary said, ‘It’s hard to get out of the habit of fighting with the president.”’ (Conan O’Brien)

Talk About Cheating: “I was watching the Discovery Channel the other day and it said that the male parrot is the only animal that cheats on its mate when it knows its mate is not watching because it’s afraid of getting caught. Now think about this. The parrot is the only animal that talks, so of course it’s afraid of getting caught--because he knows he’s going to hear about it for the rest of his life.” (Leno)

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