Take These Mottoes, Please
When it comes to state mottoes, it’s time for a change. Some are old. Some are boring. Some are even in Latin. Let’s start fresh:
Maine: You can’t get here from there.
New Hampshire: Live tax-free or die.
Vermont: Mountains ‘R Us.
Pennsylvania: Amish ‘R Us.
New York: Live rent-controlled or move.
Connecticut: New York’s backyard.
Massachusetts: Kennedyland.
Rhode Island: We’re not an island.
Delaware: We’re not a brand of plates.
New Jersey: Fuggedaboutit.
Maryland: Washington’s vestibule.
Virginia: Washington’s bedroom.
West Virginia: Washington’s outhouse.
South Carolina: Sorry about Strom Thurmond.
North Carolina: Sorry about Jesse Helms.
Tennessee: Sorry about Al Gore.
Florida: God’s waiting room.
Mississippi: The poverty state.
Arkansas: At least we’re not Mississippi.
Alabama: We’re not just crackers anymore.
Georgia: We’re not just pickups anymore.
Kentucky: We’re not just inbred anymore.
Ohio: The almost-a-palindrome state.
Indiana: The not-quite-a-palindrome state.
Illinois: The should-be-a-palindrome state.
Michigan: The autoerotic state.
North Dakota: Not South Dakota.
South Dakota: Not North Dakota.
Minnesota: Not Canada.
Wisconsin: Not just cheese.
Iowa: Not just corn.
Missouri: Not just pigs.
Nebraska: Not just cattle.
Kansas: Not just wheat.
Oklahoma: Not just oil.
Louisiana: Not just corruption.
Texas: The double-wide state.
Nevada: The double-down state.
Utah: The double-spouse state.
Wyoming: The rectangular state.
Colorado: The other rectangular state.
Arizona: Sand ‘n sun.
New Mexico: Geezers ‘n guns.
California: The fine whine state.
Oregon: Live free and die.
Washington: The Microsoft state.
Idaho: Spuds ‘n nuts
Montana: Just nuts.
Alaska: There’s no place like Nome.
Hawaii: It’s not the heat; it’s the humidity.
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