If Only Chris Farley Were Alive to See This

You just never know where those camera shots of NBA fans dancing in the aisles can lead. Would you believe an all-male dance team at Dallas Maverick games?

No, not those kind of male dancers, ladies. The Dallas Morning News described them as “Clydesdales, not Chippendales.”

The Mavericks’ ManiAACs (American Airlines Center) are scheduled to shake their stuff--and perhaps the floor--at Dallas’ first home playoff game.

A full-body photo was required with all applications on the Maverick Web site.

One candidate, 41-year-old Dr. Doug Smith, of suburban Plano, describes himself as a “full-figured 6-1, 300 pounds.”

No word on whether Mo Vaughn has applied.

Head case: Tommy Salo knows what’s coming, but he is returning to Sweden to play for his national hockey team at this month’s world championships.

The Edmonton Oiler goaltender allowed a bizarre goal during the Salt Lake City Olympics that sent Belarus to a big upset of Sweden.

“I’ve never said no to Sweden before,” Salo said. “I’m not going to say no to Sweden now. I’m not worried about what happened.”

The powerful Swedes were upset by Belarus in the quarterfinals when a 70-foot shot by Vladimir Kopat bounced wildly off Salo’s head and into the net with 2:24 remaining.

“I’m going to be reminded of it every time.... The worst is over. It can’t get worse,” Salo said.

It’s good to see Salo is keeping his head in the game.

Trivia time: Who holds the major league record for pinch hits in a career?

Wheel crazy: Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong never competes in the Paris-Roubaix cycling race, and for good reason.

Mud, cobblestones and the risk of accident awaited the 194 riders who started the 100th edition Sunday. More than a century after 48 men set out one spring morning for the first race, many of its challenges remain unique even if the bikes, clothing, diet and training have advanced.

Ridden this year over 163 miles in northeastern France, a fifth of the route covers narrow stretches of cobblestones, causing bottlenecks, falls and punctures. Some crashes are serious.

France’s Philippe Gaumont didn’t return to the sport until March after breaking his leg last year.

“You don’t have to be completely crazy to ride it,” said 1999 winner Andrea Tafi. “But it does help.”

Mr. Perfect: Yao Ming played the perfect game Wednesday night.

In the first game of the Chinese Basketball Assn. championship round, the 7-foot-6 center, who’s expected to be one of the top two picks in the NBA draft, was 21 for 21 from the field in Shanghai’s 127-125 loss to the Chinese Army team, Bayi. Yao finished with 49 points and 17 rebounds.

Next month, Chinese officials will allow Yao to visit the U.S. and work out for about a half-dozen teams. Chinese officials are hoping he is drafted by a big-market team with a big Asian population.

Trivia answer: Lenny Harris, with 151.

And finally: Retief Goosen, the runner-up at the Masters: “Do I get a pair of green pants for finishing second?”