Very Little Is Real in Their World

Unreal. No other word could quite describe “The Real World Movie: The Lost Season.”

Conceived by MTV as comedy-drama, this 90-minute feature contains little of either. It premieres tonight at 9.

Whereas the real “The Real World” can draw in viewers with soap-operatic stories, this fake “Real World” largely repels with self-indulgent, inside-baseball references to past characters and plot lines, as well as elements of “The Blair Witch Project” added for the heck of it.

That’s not to say the original series--which will begin its 12th season in Nevada, in Sin City itself, come September--reflects reality all that much either. It brings together seven young adults in outrageously furnished quarters and lets human nature take its course, as the cameras record everything, natch. Indeed, it’s the godfather of shows such as CBS’ “Big Brother” and “Survivor” or Fox’s “Temptation Island.”

A big problem with tonight’s film is that there is not even a semblance of pseudo-reality to make the vapid dialogue and plot worth paying attention to, nor is it over-the-top enough to be consistently funny. Plus, you pretty much have to be well-versed in “The Real World” to appreciate the jokes.

The basic premise is this: Fictional “Real World” participants start out in their Vancouver house, and the usual conflicts and couplings begin. On their way to a “physical challenge” competition, in which they will vie against people played by actual alumni of the “Real World” series, they are hijacked by a nut job (Bryan Kirkwood) who has created his own house full of surveillance equipment. It’s also packed with explosives, should they try to escape.

Endless games of “Truth or Dare,” as well as other “Real World” staples such as “confessionals,” ensue. I’ll pick “truth”: It’s probably better to skip this show and get on with your own real life.