LAUGH LINES

Package Deal: “Have you seen this? It’s one of those things where you can go online and you buy a pharmacy package for a set price.... On the package, they have Valtrex for herpes and Xenical for fat block, Rogaine for hair loss, Cipro for anthrax and Viagra for impotence. And you buy all this in a package.... Let me tell you something: If you are a fat bald guy with herpes, gonorrhea and anthrax, I don’t think you’re going to need the Viagra.” (Jay Leno)

Same Difference: “Massachusetts scientists announced recently that they have cloned a human embryo for the first time. It’s become a huge political issue. If cloning works, every presidential election in the future could be between Bill Clinton and Ronald Reagan.” (Argus Hamilton)

Now That’s Cold: “Doctors now say they have a new method for treating men with prostate problems. They now freeze the prostate. Unless of course you have an HMO; then they just give you a Popsicle and have you sit on it.” (Leno)

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