Guess Who’s on Southland Claimant’s Side in Oddball Produce Controversy?

Nothing seems to escape controversy anymore, so why shouldn’t there be a dispute over who invented the square watermelon?

While recent news reports credited farmers in Japan, Kurt Dahlin, a Manhattan Beach church pastor, says he was the originator.

Dahlin began growing the edgy fruit in 1986 by accident--a seed fell between some cinder blocks and, well ... (see photo).

“It saves space, it slices nicely, and it doesn’t affect the flavor,” said Dahlin, who grows about 10 a year “just for fun.”

Some Japanese markets now sell large square melons at $80 to $100 apiece. Reports by CNN and other outlets said the Japanese began growing them first two decades ago.

“But if that’s so, why are we just hearing about it now?” asked the pastor. “Where’s the evidence? I have photos back to 1986.”

Dahlin thinks there’s a possibility that an article on his square treats in the local Beach Reporter a few years ago may have given Japanese farmers the idea.

“America needs heroes,” Dahlin said with mock solemnity, “and what’s more heroic than a square melon?”

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“Duh!” award winner: Dale Batesole of Garden Grove and several other readers nominated one magazine’s scientific discovery (see accompanying).

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Someone made a miraculous comeback? Brian Jones passed along a classified ad from a Santa Clarita Valley publication that raised a few questions (see accompanying).

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Second lives (cont.): The discussions here of company signs that were altered in ingenious ways when businesses changed hands brought a story from Christine Haden of San Diego.

She remembered a co-worker’s wedding reception where “there was a serious discussion going on about whether the name of the band might be offensive to the bride’s mother, who had yet to arrive.

“The band displayed a small felt banner bearing their name--One Night Stand--on the bass drum. The band leader argued that advertising was part of the deal, but the family was unrelenting.

They finally compromised by folding over part of the banner so that the entire name was no longer visible.

“Thus,” Haden concluded, “Night Stand made its debut.”

But just for one night.

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Staying in character: Visiting the Mystery Book Store in Westwood, writer Hank Rosenfeld asked a clerk at the front desk, “Where is Dashiell Hammett?”

“He’s dead,” the clerk responded.

It struck Rosenfeld as the type of terse wisecrack that Hammett’s Sam Spade might have uttered.

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Failed power play: When he was honored by the Southern California Sports Broadcasters on Monday, L.A. Kings hockey announcer Bob Miller recounted the time when then-owner Jack Kent Cooke ordered him to weave the sponsors into his play-by-play.

For example, said Cooke--a one-time door-to-door encyclopedia salesman, Miller could say, “There’s [Kings star] Marcel Dionne scooting down the ice like a Datsun.”

Miller refused and Cooke left him in the driver’s seat, anyway.

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miscelLAny: On their road to the Super Bowl title, they scored victories over the two teams that deserted the City of Angels--the Raiders and the Rams.

The rest of the world may call the new champs the New England Patriots. I prefer to think of them as the real L.A. Avengers, not the Arena Football League team that uses that name.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.