Someone Else Got There First With the Two-Lidded Jar of Peanut Butter
False alarm of the week: The Seal Beach Sun reports that a woman “claimed she was being stalked by a dark-haired woman who was pounding on her apartment window. It turned out to be a computer delivery person.”
Unclear on the concept: Gloria Dizmang noticed a caption in an area newspaper that didn’t seem to go with the photo (see accompanying). Of course, those ice hockey games can get out of hand.
Unclear on the concept (II): Steve Wiener of Vista saw this sign in a San Diego-area gym:
“Handicapped restroom out of order. Please use upstairs restroom.”
Attention, commuters: Keith Fairfield of Hemet came upon a blurb for those who travel to work by highway or by water (see accompanying).
Indispensable items of the 21st century: Irvine Valley College is awaiting word on whether the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” will broadcast any tapes of the gizmos unveiled at its recent Astounding Inventions of the Future Fair.
Alas, one of the winners, Kelsey Nederland, 9, met the fate that every inventor dreads. Her brainstorm was a two-lidded peanut butter jar that would enable one to get every last bit of the stuff out of the container.
But a Leno rep said the show had previously displayed a two-lidded peanut butter jar.
Who’d a chunk it?
Astounding inventions (cont.): But there’s still hope for “Food Glue,” which was created by Patrick Weber, 8.
Patrick was locked away in a laboratory or somewhere, but I was able to contact Mark Godding, a college spokesman. “You squeeze it like glue onto the sandwich,” Godding said. “It keeps the meat from slipping out. Or it could keep your burrito from popping open.”
Godding said “Food Glue” is “odorless and tasteless” though he was unclear on the exact ingredients. Trade secrets, you know.
Others awaiting word from Leno include Sam Meyers, 11, who designed a V-shaped device that can cut a wedge of cake AND then pick it up; and Aaron Sarkozi, 7, whose “Backpack Buddy” is a remote-controlled toy for carrying one’s books to school. Or, I imagine, one’s piece of cake.
Possibly too inventive: A. Brunell of L.A. found a kitten ad that also mentioned a rather harsh way of dealing with young people (see accompanying). Harsh, but interesting ....
Oh, Lord: After I mentioned the Atheists United cleanup sign on the Glendale Freeway, I heard from a member who said that someone had recently “tried to cover over the word ‘Atheist’ with blue spray paint. Caltrans maintenance people removed the paint a day after we reported it to them.”
Needless to say, the Atheists United member suspected that the culprit was a misguided believer.
miscelLAny: Ontario police found a chiropractor’s office that they said is really a brothel. Which prompted columnist David Allen of the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin to ask: “Does this mean that either way, the business’ specialty involves kinks?”
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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.