Columnist Gets Wild in the Morning; Oh, Wait, That’s the Radio Guy

Good morning L.A., you’re listening to Steve Harvey on the radio. . . . Get on the phone and tell somebody because Steve Harvey’s gonna be wild. . . . I’m gonna be waaaay off the hook, but before we get started. . . .

Wait a minute! That was the other Steve Harvey speaking on his radio show on KKBT-FM (100.3). Sorry about that. I don’t know how his radio intro and my column intro could have gotten mixed up. But crazy things happen with all this complicated modern technology.

Anyway, while we’re on the subject of radio, one other personality I really miss hearing is funnyman Gary Owens, one of the stars of the old “Laugh-In” television show.

I read on Don Barrett’s laradio.com Web site that Owens recently performed the introduction when talk show host Larry Marino made his debut on KRLH-AM (590).

In true Owens fashion, he described Marino as “a man who has more talent in his little finger than he does in his big finger.”

On the move: And are we ever, with today’s artwork (see accompanying).

We have a bike that was apparently ridden by a performing animal . . . a grueling trail walk of more than 25 feet (contributed by Charlotte Poe of Somis) and a sobering thought for drivers near Barnsdall, Okla. (snapped by Mike Evans of La Mesa).

Give me an S, give me a U. . .: You probably recall--even if you wish you couldn’t--the movie of a few years ago “The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom.”

I see now that threats are being made in the case of the disputed selection process for the Newport Harbor High School pompom squad. But this is, after all, Newport Beach. So I guess this movie will be called “The Positively True Adventures of the Southern California Cheerleader-Suing Mom.”

Stupid driving tricks: The Laguna News-Post’s police log said a motorist “observed two cars driving northbound on Coast Highway from Dana Point with people who were throwing things at each other from open windows. He also said that they were trying to join hands while driving.”

Happy to report the cops got ‘em.

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out: I started thinking about that moment in the movie “Orange County” when the young writer declares: “I’ve got to get out of Orange County.” And it occurred to me that a sort of escape theme runs through works about Southern California.

Some other examples:

* “We was cooped up in Long Beach too long”--con woman Ann Sothern, heading back to Alabama in the movie “Crazy Mama.”

* “Leave with me! There’s no reason for you to stay. Not here, not in L.A.”--a Gen Xer in the movie “Less Than Zero.”

* “I really want you out of L.A.”--the president of the United States to his wife in the movie “Independence Day” (of course, he knows that L.A. is about to suffer a flying saucer invasion).

* “I’m never going back to Glendale”--title character in the novel “Mildred Pierce.”

* “L.A. proved too much for the man, so he’s leavin’ . . .”--from the song “Midnight Train to Georgia” by Gladys Knight & The Pips.

* “She had to get out/Get out/Get out/Get out”--from the song “Los Angeles” by the rock group X.

And I’m not offended by the departures. Anything to keep the population down.

miscelLAny:

In its February issue, Surfer magazine names the “10 Best Surf Towns,” a list that looks as though it were put together by Jeff Spicoli, the zonked-out wave-rider in the movie “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.”

The selections of Hermosa Beach and Santa Cruz make sense. But one of the top 10 is San Luis Obispo, which, the magazine explains, has a “vibrant surf culture.”

Problem is, it’s also 10 miles from the water.

As Spicoli would say: “Far out!” Or “Far in!”

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.