LAUGH LINES

Getting Into the Mood: “Toyota and Sony have teamed up and they have announced plans to have a new car that shows emotion. Like the car turns bright orange when you first approach it to show that it’s happy. And if something bad happens like a flat tire or engine trouble, the car turns blue. In fact, if you slam on the brakes, it turns red like it’s real angry. Aren’t L.A. drivers moody enough as it is? Do we really want our cars on Prozac too?” (Jay Leno)

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The Numbers Game: “A Cosmo survey said women’s favorite measurements on a man are 42-32-32. True--except in Los Angeles, where a woman’s favorite measures are 85-95-105. That’s an 85-year-old man worth $95 million and running a temperature of 105 degrees.” (Argus Hamilton)

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All in Their Head: “A five-year British study that suggested mad cow disease had spread to sheep has been scrapped after it was found that scientists were studying the wrong brains all along. They had been examining cow brains that they thought were sheep brains. So apparently, mad cow disease cannot be spread to sheep--but it can be spread to English scientists.” (Leno)

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