Beware of Lumpy Envelopes, Especially the Ones From Real Estate Agents
Anthrax fears have lessened, but one West L.A. real estate agent is taking no chances. He labeled his lumpy envelopes “Refrigerator Magnet--SAFE TO OPEN.”
Of course, no such guarantee was needed if, like me, you toss out all real estate agents’ letters unopened.
Such a deal: Today’s questionable bargains (see accompanying) include a body treatment that sounds painful (from Suzanne Phillips of L.A.), a coupon worth one half of a cent (from Lee Wade of South Gate) and some scary-sounding tires (snapped by Steve Wong of West L.A.).
Second lives: The item here about a defunct Islanders restaurant that became Slanders restaurant through a bit of sign editing was obviously no isolated case.
Ty Wood recalled that when he was delivering beverages in San Bernardino County, one of his customers was “a bar that was originally the Oasis. But the ‘O’ had fallen off and so the name had been changed to the As Is.”
Phil Proctor nominated an L.A. bar called Sports that was relieved of its “S” by a new owner “and voila! Instant atmosphere: Ports!”
And Neil Cuadra remembered a Farrell’s ice cream shop in Woodland Hills whose new owners changed the name “to Barrell’s by filling in the right side of the ‘F.’”
Added Cuadra: “I would give them a B for frugality but an F for spelling.”
Al’s Bar lives! Sort of. The grungy downtown L.A. rock joint itself has shut down. But former owner Marc Kreisel has created an Al’s Bar Collection, consisting of works by downtown artists as well as artifacts from his old dive.
The collection will be displayed at L.A. Harbor College next month, but some priceless mementos of Al’s are missing.
“We have a police report out,” Kreisel told the L.A. Downtown News. “There are only a few things I want returned: the cover for the pool table, the door to the women’s bathroom.... “
Memories.
Disconnected: The police log of the Irvine World News listed a complaint involving kids brandishing cell phones “in a threatening manner.” Were they threatening to make separate calls in a restaurant? I know I would flee the scene in terror.
Stupid driving tricks: I’m guilty of this infraction and, yes, it involved my cell phone. I was driving balls at the Dominguez Golf Course in Carson on Saturday afternoon when I lost my phone.
I recovered it through the efforts of course starter Bryant Gonzales, who not only took my name and number but asked each group going out to play afterward to watch for the missing gadget.
A Golfing Samaritan turned it in the next day. In the meantime, I had placed a dozen calls to the phone, silently cursing each time I heard my cheerful voice on the recorded message. Luckily, I have free weekend minutes.
miscelLAny: Are you excited about the playoff prospects of our local pro football team? And I don’t mean those faithless Rams who deserted us for the Midwest. No, I’m talking about the Long Beach-based California Quake, which knocked off Sacramento, 40-13, over the weekend to capture the Pacific Coast title in the Women’s American Football League.
The Quake thus moved one step closer to qualifying for the Women’s World Bowl, Feb. 24 in San Diego. Will there be male cheerleaders?
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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.
